Forks in the Road
by Gemsxx
Summary: Mackenzie is an English heamatology nurse.she thought has it all including an obsession with the books and film of Twilight. See how these worlds collide and hows the choices she makes impacts on both. Rated M for strong language & lemons later.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Ok this is my first attempt at this. It's probably too long and will take too long to get into, but stick with it please, as I would love to share this with some of you.**

**This is My little AU story about a Twilight obsessed English nurse called Mackenzie. Through the story she manages to go on a site seeing trip to Forks where her favorite book and film were set. All does not go well for Mackenzie, see what difference her choices make to her and the people of the Twilight.**

**I do not own any of this twilight world only the stuff that's from me and makes no sense. All else belongs to S.M**

**Huge Thanks to MrsKatyCullen my wonderful Beta reader.**

**Theres not enough Twilight words of thanks**

**Hugs**

**Xx**

* * *

Okay, I'll admit it.

I'm obsessed Not in your average little girl, pop star obsessed way; but full-on stalker capability obsessed – well, nearly anyways. It doesn't matter to me that I am really too old to have these sort of obsessions and really I'm too 'normal' if the truth be known, but it is my passion… Hold up, it's probably not making any sense at all?

Let me start where all good books and movies should always start… At the very beginning…

'BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ!'

_What was that god-awful sound?_

I groaned as I flung my hand out to my bedside table feeling for the 'off' button on my alarm. I managed to knock over a half-drunk cup of tea, and put my fingers into a squishy half dunked hobnob before eventually finding the sleep button on the devil machine.

I lay in my cozy cocoon for a few more minutes trying to persuade myself that I really didn't need to get up and go to work today, before the sensible side of my brain got the better of me and literally threw me out of bed and into the shower.

I loved my work. I really did, but I had spent most of the darkness hours indulging in my dark secret. I was re-reading, for about the 40th time, from start to finish: the Twilight Saga.

I was at a point in the book where Bella was still unsure of her heart; Edward or Jacob? No matter how well I knew the story, it still bugged the shit out of me that Bella was so undecided about whom to be with…oh my god, no contest; it was EDWARD of course! Who wouldn't choose Edward?

Consequently, due to my girly hissy fit and the need to get past that part, I had read right through the night until dawn raised its unwelcome head through my bedroom curtains. I had put my well-thumbed copy of the book down and must have fallen asleep immediately.

So, when 2 hours later my alarm woke me from my Edward-induced revelry I was not best pleased.

Once at work things were okay, I got to see my gal pals Ruby and Summer. They took the piss out of me relentlessly due to my obsession, and they thought it was highly amusing to tell my patients that I was secretly in love with a vampire just as I was about to stick them with a large hypodermic needle and draw their blood!

During my break, I had my head stuck in my book as I chewed on a banana.

"Oh Edward," I sighed, and then looked up to see Ruby smiling at me. She was about to say something but I cut her off by looking back to my book and raising my right hand in a 'stop' gesture to her. I heard her give a little giggle but that was all.

I was _not_ girly; I was about as far away from the Bella in my story as anyone could be. Bella in the books was small and petite and brunette and was a quiet unassuming girl, I on the other hand was nearly 6ft blonde haired, and my body was toned to a mix of athletic gal muscle with Xena's boobs! Though I wasn't loud-mouthed, I would always say what was on my mind and I would always stand up for the underdog. My boyfriend was really just a buddy who I happened to have sex with, it suited us both and relieved us of some tension, plus it gave us both someone to take along to those family and couples get togethers that all singletons dreaded. We were happy in our little sex set up.

My escape was to Forks, where I read about the events in the book living them vicariously through Bella, I was Bella and fuck! Let's face it, they didn't make men like Edward Cullen in reality; so I enjoyed every nuance, look and kiss that Bella and Edward shared, though I have to admit my own full length edit of any physical contact usually came into play on such parts. I could feel between my legs just fizzing at the very idea of a full on open-mouthed tongue-tied snog with afore mention sex god vampire Edward.

_YES! I know he's not real, I am aware he is just a character dreamed up by a very talented author. YES! I realized that the Edward on-screen was a rather gorgeous actor, who was in all probability nothing like my ideal of Edward. But, I wanted more! I wanted to know more about the places they went I wanted to see what they saw, I wanted to experience it. I wanted to __**live**__ it!_

I had a full night of Twilight reading planned, and I was wearing my favourite bunny pajamas and bunny slippers! I had just got to the part of the fourth book when Edward and Bella go on honeymoon on Esme's Island, when Toby turned up. He had been out with Chris and the boys to a footie match and he decided to pop round to see me after the pub. He smiled at me winningly, thinking I wouldn't notice he was pissed and just after a shag!

"Kenze, babe, come here. I've got something for you!" He said in what I'm sure he thought was a sexy, deep and seductive voice. In truth, that sounded like he had smoked 60 Marlboros a day for the past 30 years and was about to cough up a fur ball. Frankly, the rubbing of his cock suggestively with one hand while he swigged a beer with the other really did _not_ do it for me! I sat beside him on the sofa. He put his arm around me, pulling me towards him. Admittedly, he had to struggle, he was pissed after all and I was no little lamb, I was 5ft 11 of muscled athlete and it would take more than a Jason Staitham look alike to sway me into relieving him of his stress tonight. After all, my evening was planned with Edward in mind!

I eventually moved towards him a little as he was actually trying to be quite sweet; telling me that I was like the best looking bird he'd ever shagged and how I had raised his kudos since we had been shagging!

"C'mon Kenze, don't be a prick tease," he said all whiney. "Why don't you take your head out that fucking book and realize you got a real man here instead of a mad freak imagined one?"

He said, whilst stabbing towards his crotch with his hand!

_Gee, did I say sweet? _

"Okay, enough is enough Tobe, you front up here at midnight only in the vain hope of me gratifying your sexual need. I could have had other plans; you should have asked if it was okay to come round at this time, instead of rocking up with your dick hanging out the front of your Levis!"

I explained that I had made plans and that he should at least have asked if I was doing anything else before he assumed that I was ready, willing and able to service his penis every time he got the urge; and let us face it; I would have had a full time job keeping up with that!

Toby looked confused!

_CONFUSED?_

"I thought that's what we both wanted?" He said a bit uncertainly.

"We do, I did, _you_ do, but…" I stopped mid sentence.

"_But_. What?" he asked with the slur in his voice more pronounced than it had been before.

"But, nothing Tobe," I said finally. "Go home, Toby, and sober up. I will call you tomorrow."

I got up and pretty much frog marched him out of my door. He didn't put up any resistance, he knew better than to resist a 4th Dan in karate!

I kissed him chastely on the lips to soften the rejection and closed the door on him.

I ran back to Edward and Bella as fast as my bunny feet would allow and jumped into my bed and picked up my book which was my doorway to their life, the life that I was more a part of than I was my own.

I lay in my bed, looking at the ceiling and holding on to my beloved book and feeling a bit of a bitch for sending Toby away like that, but I couldn't shake off this feeling. I realized that I wasn't really living my life, I was only a mere spectator and I knew that I couldn't keep doing what I was doing. I wasn't getting any younger; I was 26 and I should really have my head sorted by now.

I kept hearing my mum's voice in my head. "Tick tock Mackenzie sweetie, your biological clock is ticking by, you're not getting any younger and I would like to have a grandchild before I'm too old to enjoy it!"

_Charming!_

I made a decision then: time to grow up! I would fulfill my one great burning desire and then I would get on with my life. It all seemed so simple once I decided what I was going to do, I had 4 weeks holiday to use up and well, I was going to go to Forks. I was going to experience the air, the places and the people of the place I longed to be more than any other was. I was going to go and see all the places I had seen only in my mind's eye until that point. I felt sure that a holiday would cure my itchy feet and that once I had been away I would settle down, that I would be able to _find_ myself.

I was so excited now that I had made the decision; I went to sleep, thinking of all the places I would visit.

It was all so surprisingly easy. Work had been on at me to take my holidays before I lost them and I really thought that I just needed to get away from it all, including Toby for a while to evaluate my life and see the wood from the trees as my gran used to say. I would return a new woman.

Ruby and Summer were a little less optimistic than I was at the prospects of me travelling all that way on my own for 4 weeks. I reassured them, "I'll be fine, it's not like I haven't done anything like this before." My mind skittered back to my New Zealand adventure, that time I had hunted for hobbits and elves!

_Okay, so there's a pattern here… I see it, you see it, we all see it, but I'm a lover of good stories so of course I get involved in the books that I read...lets say no more about it…ok?... OK? Let's move on shall we?_

Ruby still wasn't convinced and in the next breath she announced that she would use her remaining 2 weeks of hols and come with me for the first half of the holiday. I tried to put her off, feeling guilty that she would feel she had to do it for my protection but she admitted to wanting to go to that part of the world, and that I had given her the excuse.

I was secretly relieved! I hadn't relished all that time on my own in a foreign country, and so far away from home. This way I could do the things I wanted to do on the second part of my hols and on the first part, Ruby and I could do all the touristy things together.

Everything seemed to go smoothly from there and the 6 weeks until we left hardly seemed any time at all to wait.

May was probably quite early in the tourist season over there but I didn't want to have to fight my way around the place, as I was sure that the world and his wife would be visiting due to the growing popularity of the books and the film.

Our little holiday countdown annoyed the shit out of Summer and Toby in particular, who had taken the news that I was off on a girls' holiday with Ruby a little on the frosty side. When he asked why I hadn't asked him to go along with me instead, I just said that I hadn't really thought about asking anyone. I had planned to go on my own and Ruby had asked if she could come with me, plus I knew that he wouldn't like all the sightseeing and coach trips I was intending to do!

At the words 'sightseeing' and 'coach trips' Toby's eyes glazed over slightly and I knew he was thinking purple-haired senior citizens and train spotters, instead of the beered up, muscle bound Swedish guys all with long flowing blonde hair he had been envisaging moments before!

This seemed to ease his mind, and after that, he seemed quite keen on the idea of me going off and leaving him to his own devises for a month.

The night before we flew Toby came over and Ruby, Summer and her boyfriend Chris. We ordered in, had a relaxing meal, and got ready for an early start. Ruby was staying over, Toby was staying as well, and he was going to flat sit for me. He was under threat of castration if anything happened and I was pleased to see that he wasn't entirely sure if I was being serious or not!

We had sex for the last time in 4 weeks, though I was sure that Toby would take that matter into his own hands! However, I wasn't entirely sure that he wouldn't put it into someone else's hands. I felt a bit sad at that but I understood, I really was the ideal girlfriend; I could drink as much beer as they did, didn't ask any questions usually of where/who/when or who with and could understand the offside rule better than most blokes!

As soon as Toby came, he had turned over "thanks love that was great, night" Toby lay there with the used condom hanging limply off his flaccid dick!

As he turned his back to me, I felt something let go, I knew that that was the last time I would have sex with Toby. I knew it for certain, and I was happy about it. I lay, staring at my ceiling and images of Edward came to my mind; his mad bed head hair, his gorgeous golden eyes and the angle of his chin…

_Fizz, pop_ went my stomach as the warmth spread out to engulf me; I bet Edward wouldn't turn over and leave Bella unfulfilled with only his own pleasure in mind. I sighed as I slipped into Edward-sleep and as I slept, I sighed again as in my dream Edward slipped into me!

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**A/N Would love to see what you think please review :o)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N heres a bit more..**

**I do not own any of the Twilight world, only the stuff that's from me and makes no sense. All else belongs to S.M**

**Huge Thanks to MrsKatyCullen my wonderful Beta reader.**

**Theres not enough Twilight words of thanks**

**Hugs**

**Xx**

**Please read at ½ space.**

**Hugs**

**xx**

* * *

We're Here.

The flight had been turbulent and long but I had read most of the way and Ruby had slept most of it due to the comatose drooling state the rhino sized prescribed valium had put her in for the past 10 hours!

After the bumps and shocks of the turbulent flight I had to place a virtual restraining arm on myself to stop from falling to my knees and kissing the ground thankfully as we stepped down onto the tarmac!

We got our luggage, easily picking out the Tellytubbies scarf tied around them from the baggage carousel and picked up our rental car armed with cases, drinks and my newly uploaded American maps sat-nav. We set off for Forks. The 2 hour car journey had been pleasant enough and Ruby's intermittent chatter and snores kept me entertained for the most part.

It was surprisingly easy to get to our hotel. I had chosen a hotel on the coast away from the town centre called the Kalaloche Lodge.

I couldn't contain my excitement as I skipped towards the front office to get us checked in. The woman on the front desk was pleasant and her smile brightened when she heard the English accent .I said in as best English as I could muster "We have bookings, Mackenzie Richardson and Ruby Harris."

The lady tapped away at her computer, "Aw, yes Ms Richardson and Harris, I see you…"

I stood waiting for the woman to say something else but she seemed to have forgotten I was stood there. I cleared my throat and I waited for the penny to drop, the smiley check in lady, smiled some more and continued looking at me with a blank expression. Needing to pee desperately and brush my teeth in that order I blurted out, "Do we need keys for the room?"

"Oh Yes, sorry deary I just can't get over how quaint you sound!" she said as she dropped the keys onto the desk. I grabbed our key saying my thanks and we drove around to our parking bay and then unloaded our cases. The first thing that hit me was the cold! The wind was blowing off the sea whipping my hair around my neck and face. The second thing I noticed was the beautiful view! It was stunning and I breathed in a huge lung full of salty ocean air. The sharp coldness hitting my lungs and making me gasp slightly at the shock.

"FUCK, we're here Ruby! We're actually really fucking here!!" I said, the amazement showing in my voice.

"Fuck, im really fucking cold Kenze, please open the door!"

Apologizing and fumbling with bags and keys we fell into our room. It was a huge room with 2 double beds 2 chairs a sofa, tea and coffee making facilities and all the usual requirements for any hotel room. The walls were wood and gave the lodge a distinct forest smell which warmed the heart as well as gave the room a warm glow.

We dumped our bags where we stood and I ran for what I hoped was the bathroom door and with my knickers round my ankles and the bathroom door open I sat with the most stupid grin on my face. From where I was sat on the loo I could see right out of the huge picture windows over the ocean. I sat watching huge waves rolling angrily in towards the beach.

"Rube..."

"Yeh?"

"Thanks!"

"Any time!"

I could tell from her voice that she was smiling and I was so grateful to me friend for doing this for me. I would do it for her in a heartbeat, but I never expected people to do stuff for me, I was the fixer, I was the adventurer, I was the party gal, I was whatever they needed, I felt humbled that my friend knew I needed this and had come all this way for me.

After we had put our clothes in the ridiculously large wardrobes and we had relaxed for a bit we got showered and decided to go into town to get something to eat and to try to familiarize ourselves with our surroundings.

The smiley lady from the front desk who was called Cassandra informed us that we would need to drive into town from the Lodge as it was too far to walk. She informed us of a couple of good restaurants and cafes in town and of course there were 2 restaurants attached to the Lodge if we wanted to dine there. Armed with my camera we drove the 10 minutes into town.

Ruby was a city girl and she was literally silenced by the size of the huge pine trees we were driving past. They shadowed the road and dwarfed everything, and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up as I envisaged a pack of wolves patrolling through those trees keeping watch on the town and its residents.

We parked up on the main street and my mouth dropped open for a second as I took in the sight before me…..

I was actually lost for words…. I couldn't believe it, after all my imaginings and all that I had dreamed it to be, after all this time, nothing had prepared me for this.

Ruby jolted me out of my own silence...

"What the fuck is all this shit?"

I couldn't answer her, everywhere you looked were Twilight pictures and posters and Twilighters of all ages had all converged on this place. The town was like a bad version of some dodgy soap opera, all called Twilight, and there was the Twilight tour, the Twilight lounge, the Twilight candy store and the Twilight photo Op point. I took a huge steadying breath and tried to look past the mass of people that were clicking their camera lens at anything and everything just as I had planned to do myself!

I couldn't see the real Forks because there were too many people bastardizing it and taking away little pieces of it and pulling at my ideal version of Forks for anyone to get a clear view of it.

Feeling totally shit, we found a place to eat and waited to be shown a table.

Neither of us had spoken since Ruby's apt statement. We stayed silent until we had safely been seated.

"Well it's pretty." Ruby said unconvincingly.

"Yeh, very." I couldn't keep the disappointment out of my voice.

Ruby ever the enthusiast said that we should have a plan of things we wanted to do and places we wanted to see. I nodded, not trusting my self to speak further.

"I'm so sorry Rubes," I had said finally. "I had no idea it was going to be like going to Disneyland; I expected a small American town with history and culture…"

The middle aged waitress that had served us brought us our order of Cullen fish & fries and said with a sting in her voice. "We have all that here sugar, you cant blame folks if they can see a way of making a living off of you people, its what you come here for anyways, you got no right to judge people so."

Feeling totally put in my place and embarrassed, not for being bawled out, but by how true her words were, I stuttered an apology, but the waitress had already turned on her heels and was away serving a different table.

I felt like a total bitch, she was utterly correct, what a fucking nerve I had……it was my fault that their beautiful town was being torn apart, I was to blame. I was just about to go back to the Lodge and pack my things and demand that we leave the town and its people in peace when Ruby put a steadying hand on my arm. "Calm down Mackenzie, we are here Hun, lets enjoy it and lets go and see all those things we had planned to see, like the waitress said, this probably helps keep the local economy buoyant."

Feeling like a total flake, I nodded my head and tucked into my meal knowing that Ruby was right. I had been so convinced that the Forks in reality would be exactly like the Forks in my head, how stupidly naïve was I to have thought that?

I kicked myself in the butt mentally and decided that nothing was going to ruin this experience for us both, especially not ME!!

After leaving a very good tip for the waitress and hoping that no one had spat in our food, we walked out of the diner and walked down the high street and the car. We drove back to the Lodge and made our way to the bar, both of us feeling the need for a drink to unwind and relax.

The bar was busy and lively and though it had a few obvious Twilighters in there. The majority seemed to be locals or guests. We ordered a couple of beers and found a table out of the way and sat letting the atmosphere envelope us.

We hadn't got more than half way through our first drink when 3 fair headed men came over and sat down at the table beside us. They didn't say anything to begin with but just eyed us over their beer bottles. My mind flitted briefly to Toby's blonde Swedish dudes which put a smile on my face.

Eventually the bravest one of the 3 turned to Ruby and asked if we wanted a drink.

Ruby declined his offer but thanked him. One of the others, all of whom looked to be in their twenties, picked up on our accents and asked us where we were from. So that was that, we spent the evening in the pleasant company of Brad, David and Nathan, all of whom were geologists from Dartmouth University doing a 6 month study on a certain part of the forest. Brad had taken a shine to Ruby and was asking animated questions about her job once he heard we were both nurses. I knew that at some point the question would come, I just didn't know who would ask it. I was listening to Ruby and Brad chat easily and I was also listening to the music that was being played from the old 50 style Jukebox. I jumped up to see what was on it and a smile crept across my lips as I found a tune I liked, I pushed my money in the slot and punched in the number of my chosen songs and walked back to my seat grinning slightly.

As I sat down Nathan looked to me and asked "What did you put on?"

"It's an old favorite of mine" I said as the first guitar intro started

'Over the bridge of sighs,  
to rest my eyes in shades of green  
under dreamin' spires  
To Itchycoo Park, that's where I've been'

I sang along to the familiar tune, Nathan seemed surprised at my song choice. I explained it had been one of my pulling songs at the nurse's parties we had had. I laughed at his slightly shocked expression.

"Don't worry, you're safe, I'm not going to eat you!" I said to him, trying not to notice the slightly disappointed look in his eyes also!

"So…"Nathan asked casually. "Do you gals have to wear uniforms?"

'_Bingo! There it was'_

I smiled at Ruby who was grinning madly and I nodded knowingly. Nathan actually blushed! A deep crimson flush crept up his neck to his cheeks.

"Yeh, we wear a uniform, it's not everyone who can look that good in scrubs when we're usually covered in all mention of bodily fluids!" I went on to describe in great detail all manner of nasty!

The slight green shading of Nathans cheeks where once there had been a blush, assured me that all thoughts of sexy short nurses uniforms had been successfully wiped from all the guys heads!

We thanked the guys for a nice evening and remained non committal to the suggestion that we should meet up again tomorrow evening. We felt fairly sure that we would see them again as they were staying at the Lodge themselves. Pleading jetlag we excused ourselves and went back to our room.

I was up early and after letting Ruby know where I was going I dressed in some old joggers and my decrepit runners and decided to go for a run along the beach.

I had not expected it to be quite as cold as it was so I had put on an extra jumper and was looking like a female version of the fat controller from Thomas the Tank engine as I set out down the cliff edge path to the beach. The steps down to the beach were wide but uneven and required me to jog at a slower pace as I needed to watch each foot fall.

Once at the bottom I felt the spray from the mad sized waves hit my face as the wind whipped at my hair, stinging my eyes and cheeks where it hit. I set off to the left putting some of the wind behind my back and relaxed into an easy running speed, the first time since arriving feeling like I had expected to feel in this place of my alter/ reality.

The sand was damp and tightly packed which made running on it easy, I was enjoying the ache I felt in my thighs and with each breath I took in the cold sea air deep into my lungs. I was focused on the rhythm of my running and only caught a flash in the waves out of the corner of my eye. I didn't pay any real attention to it and continued running. I was nearing the end of that part of the beach and I needed to run up some more cliff steps which led me through a car park.

I stopped for a breather unable to resist looking out to the monstrous seas that were swelling around the rocks.

"Awesome isn't it" a youthful accented voice said from beside me. I jumped round quickly and came face to face with a gorgeous looking man; well not man I mentally corrected, as I looked closer neither boy nor man as he seemed to be in between in age. I guessed around 18 or 19.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you!" he said apologetically.

"No its fine, I just didn't realize any one was there, the sea is so loud." I gave my most girlish smile.

"You're not from around here are you?" the boy asked, smiling back at me with stunning white teeth. Something about him was so familiar but I just couldn't put my finger on what it was.

"You could tell huh? Was it my accent or the total lack of appropriate attire to be out in this, so only an idiot or a tourist would make the mistake?" I asked him sardonically.

The boys eyes wrinkled slightly at the corners as he smiled and said,"Maybe a bit of both?"

"I'm Lucas by the way." He held out his hand for me to shake it.

"Mackenzie." I shook his hand and then we both turned back towards the sea again.

After some moments of silence he asked"Are you staying at the Lodge?"

"Yeh, it seems a pretty nice place. You?"

"No, I live on the reservation"

'_Click'_

It fell into place, I must be half asleep still, and my brain so wasn't working to its full capacity. Of course this lovely young beefcake was from the reservation. My mind skipped off to my T/R (Twilight Reality!) and I imagined him running through the woods half naked before changing into a huge russet wolf. Then I thought about him changing back from a wolf and being totally naked!

'_OH MY GOD, get a grip Mackenzie!'_

I was aware suddenly of Lucas staring at me like he was waiting for an answer. I hoped I hadn't been drooling!

"I'm sorry Lucas; I didn't hear you, like I said the sea….very loud!" I made a point of gesticulated towards my ears and flashed my smile again.

"Oh, OK. So what do you think?"

"What do I think?" I struggled to try to bring forth some idea as to what he had just asked me. I should have just asked him to repeat it, but I didn't want to even admit to myself that I had been stood here fantasizing about this boy!

"ERM…."

Lucas looked a bit puzzled but didn't offer any more info.

"Yes?" I ventured warily.

"Great," he said. A huge big grin breaking out across his face. "I'll pick you up around 7 this evening. That ok?"

"Oh, yeh that's fine…fine"

'_shit, shit, shit!' _

"My friend will be with me." I managed to strangle out, trying to think of some way of getting out of this date with out hurting his feelings. He really was cute.

"…you can come meet some of my friends and I'll show you round if you like?"

At the offer of seeing a bit of the area and being shown by a local, the whole idea did sound great after all, plus he was ever so easy on the eye! Ruby was going to be happy!!

We chatted for a few more minutes and then I said that I needed to go else I would get too cold to run back.

I was aware that I was getting cold and that Lucas' eyes seemed to be drawn to my chest at any given moment. Some things even 2 jumpers couldn't hide!

We shouted our goodbyes as I ran down the steps.

I was wet and cold by the time I got back to our room and I must have looked scary as hell, but Ruby took it in her stride as I babbled about Lucas and our impending night out. "Cool." was all she said.

We had decided to go for a ride out today and Port Angeles was where we were headed. We had decided before we left the UK that we would do things that we both wanted to do and getting a bit of retail therapy was definitely in order. I needed some warmer clothes and possibly a top that didn't make my assets so in your face, I didn't want to offend any one or have their eye out.

'_Like I said…COLD!!'_

I immediately liked Port Angeles. Again it seemed familiar to me and though there were a few mentions of Twilight areas of interest, the town let you explore and find those out for yourselves.

The stores were more like boutiques and we wasted 3 hours easily trying on clothes in all of them. We were humored by the shop assistants, all of them were polite and so helpful and they seemed to want to help you find what you were looking for. All of them picked up on our accent, we were placed anywhere from London to Liverpool from Australia to Ireland. All of the people we spoke to thought that we spoke quaint!!

'_Quaint?'_

Never mind they were all so nice we forgave them for that!

Armed with our new purchases we set off back to the lodge. We dumped our bags in our room and ran over to the diner that was situated in the Lodge. We were hungry so we ordered a sandwich and we sat chatting as we munched.

I managed to persuade Ruby that an afternoon walk on the beach would be good fun and we thought that we might even be able to see some whales. This clinched the deal and dressed in my new arctic wear sweater we started off down the steps towards the beach.

The wind was actually howling against the rocks now, I turned to walk backwards so that I could check on Ruby she seemed to be doing ok though she had a titanium grip on the hand rail as we moved down the steps.

Walking backwards was a bit treacherous so I let go of the rails to turn around, I don't know how but my foot slipped on a loose piece of stone, my ankle twisted and I could feel myself falling forward, I made a grab for the rail, but Ruby had made a grab for me, I knew that that had doomed me, there was no way she could stop my momentum with out falling over the edge of the pathway herself, so as a last ditch effort to stop her I shoved away from her with all my mite, I saw her hit the path wall and stop as I fell through space away from her. Then all was black.

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**A/N Would love to see what you think please review :o)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N here's a bit more...**

**I do not own any of this twilight world only the stuff that's from me and makes no sense. All else belongs to S.M**

**I am now un betad so live with it I write it you read it I cant spell…lol**

**There are not enough Twilight words of thanks**

**Hugs**

**Xx**

**Please read at ½ space.**

**Chapter 3**

**I'm Not in Kansas anymore!**

'Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep' What was that noise? Had my alarm got broken? Was I going to be late for work? The sensible side of my brain tried to rouse me, shouted at me.

'_Get UP!'_

Nope I wasn't listening; I sighed and snuggled back into the warmth and comfort of sleep.

'_Get the Fuck Up right now Mackenzie May Richardson'_

I tried to move my arm to turn the annoying beep of my alarm off but I couldn't move. I tried again and still no movement, shit something wasn't right. I was trying desperately to drag my self to somewhere near consciousness. Voices, I heard voices now calm reassuring voices telling me it was all ok, telling me that I was going to be ok.

Then I remembered.

'Pain'

It all rushed at me, the fall, and the blackness I understood. I opened my eyes, the room was so bright.

"Too bright." I managed to mumble before the blackness came again.

'Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep' this time I was more aware, more awake, I knew what they were. They were the machines that meant I was still alive. I wiggled my fingers and toes proving to myself that ok it hurt like fuck but at least I could feel that it hurt. I didn't want to contemplate the alternative.

I wasn't sure how long after it was that I knew I was waking up properly. Again I could hear those reassuring voices.

"…..amazing that she is still alive, she didn't break a single bone!"

Then a new voice, this one sounded like treacle. It sounded so familiar.

"She's a very lucky young woman, I don't know what would have happened if Edward hadn't been there to help her."

My eyes snapped open. My mad unfocused eyes flew around the white room, looking for the person who had spoken. They stopped to rest on the tall incredibly pale, blonde haired doctor who was holding my charts.

"Well hello there Ms Richardson, I'm Doctor Cullen, you've had a nasty fall but your ok, we have been taking good care of you." He smiled a movie star smile at me and I closed my eyes again.

'_Fuck, I'm dead'_

That was the only rational explanation I could come up with. Not only was I seeing the characters from my beloved book but they actually looked like the people who had portrayed them in the film.

"Ms Richardson? Are you ok? You've had a terrible shock I know, but you're on the mend."

I pulled myself up into a sitting position, which was really hard because I still had an IV cannula in my arm. I brushed the nurses away from me who offered help but I motioned for Dr Cullen to come closer.

He moved easily towards me with a grace that was inexplicable. His eyes. His eyes were golden, nope not golden, golden amber. Nope golden burnished amber. No words could describe his eyes.

'_Oh my fuck he was Hot!'_

I held my hand out for my charts, still not trusting myself to speak yet. Still if I was going to have a delusion I was glad that I was having one about a Cullen, even if it wasn't about the Cullen I really wanted.

I passed a professional eye over my obs and apart from a concussion and some cuts and bruises I would be expecting to be released soon.

I handed the charts back to Carlisle.

I giggled manically.

'_Carlisle'_

I thought how fucking cool was that?

"Right well, as soon we can, we will let you go but I think I need to keep you with us for another night at least. Just to be on the safe side." He assured me. As he turned and went to leave I couldn't stop myself, I reached out my hand and pinched his beautiful arse as hard as I could. I needed to see if he felt real or not. His arse was a much better option than pinching my own arm!

He didn't even flinch! It was like trying to pinch a marble ball. He hadn't noticed but the 2 nurses in the room with us certainly had! They gasped as they saw what I did, but they didn't say anything as Dr Cullen hadn't seemed to notice. I raised a conspiratorial finger of quiet sisterhood to my lips

"Shh" I said as they hurried out of the room. My eyes could no longer stay open and my eyelids shut down happily over my eyes taking me away from all the madness that had stolen itself into my world.

'_Kenze, this certainly isn't Kansas anymore!'_

I woke again with an indescribably happy nurse flinging open my curtains.

"Good Morning, I've brought you some breakfast, I hope you like eggs?"

My stomach turned over angrily trying to eject the thought of food.

"Erm, no thanks, im not hungry, but I would love a cup of tea if there is one?"

The nurse who was called Sandra nodded and walked hurriedly out to I presumed get me my drink.

I had done a lot of thinking through the night and I was ready to accept that for the time being this, _life_ was real; it was as real to me as my life before, so I had come to the conclusion that Dr Cullen was just one of those weird coincidences that happen from time to time. I was also pretty sure that I was actually lying in a hospital bed somewhere and my head was just fucking with me whilst I tried to heal. I wasn't going to question any of it, I was just going to get the fuck outta here and find Ruby.

I had asked various nurses and staff if someone had been with me when I was brought in, but none of them seemed to know. I would be seeing Dr Cullen again today so I had decided to ask my questions from the big enchilada.

Sandra returned with a steaming cup of tea which I took from her gratefully. She told me that she was going to remove my IV for me, I rolled up the dressing and flipped my arm over, she flipped some gloves on and I noticed that her hands were shaking. I remembered the first time I had had to remove someone's IV at just how shit scared I had been. As her shaking fingers removed the surgical tape I noticed that I was holding my breath….

"Its ok, your doing great " I encouraged her.

She took a deep breath and slipped the IV out smoothly. I grabbed the dressing and applied the necessary pressure until I was able to have a small dressing. Sandra smiled her thanks and removed her work tray.

I was just finishing my cup of tea when Dr Cullen came in.

I didn't know how long he had been standing there, but there was a slight look of surprise on his face.

"How are you feeling today Ms Richardson?"

"Mackenzie, My names Mackenzie."

He nodded.

"I'm doing fine…"

"…But?" He asked.

Where's my Friend? Ruby, Ruby Harris, I was with her when I fell. Was she hurt as well? Was I brought in alone?" I was starting to get a bit agitated, Ruby was worrying me, I didn't know if she was hurt or if she was ok, I wanted to know if she was safe or not.

Dr Cullen narrowed his eyes; he seemed to be weighing some things up. Eventually he said "Look I am discharging you today, but I don't want you to be alone so I am sending you over some company for a little while just for the first couple of hours or so."

I nodded, as I had expected as much. He told me he had arranged a ride back to the Lodge for me. This also answered another of my questions, I knew that I was at least staying in the place I had been in.

'_Bugger, my head hurt.'_

After getting all my meds and my discharge papers, I waved to Sandra and the other nurses and went to take my leave. I got to the front automatic doors, my eyes still searching for any familiar face, when I actually did that double take thing…who knew that you actually really truly did that? Charlie was walking towards me, Charlie Swan,

Charlie, _Bella is the fruit of my fucking loins_, Swan!

Are you Ms Richardson? He asked me as he got closer. I nodded and he explained that he was going to give me a ride to the Lodge.

I thanked him and got in his truck.

I kept looking at him from my eye corners but when he started to seem to get uneasy I forced myself to speak to him.

"Do you know what happened to me Chief Swan?" I asked him.

"Well here's the thing." He paused considering his answer before he gave it. "I doubt that we will ever know exactly how you fell, but we're all mighty glad to see you walk away from it pretty much as good as new."

Wow, he was a man of few words, but none of them were wasted.

Charlie explained to me that the reception clerk had seen me go down the cliff steps but had become alarmed when I hadn't returned a few hours later. They sent out a couple of the hotel staff and they put a call to the hospital and lo and behold I matched the description they had given. I asked him if I was here alone or had I been travelling with a friend or friends.

Charlie answered that judging by my papers and the information he had gotten from the hotel staff, that I was alone here on a student exchange In fact the same one that his own daughter was on only in the UK, and that I was planning to be here for at least the next school year.

The part about school year freaked me out somewhat and I hadn't paid enough attention to what he had just said. I replayed the last couple of sentences in my head

"…..on a student exchange, in fact the same one that his own daughter was on!"

His daughter, his daughter Bella!

'_Fuck, Fuckity Fuck.'_

This was getting more screwed up by the minute. I took a deep steadying breath, ok technically I had wished that I could be Bella but this was just way too weird.

I thanked Charlie and as I walked towards my room, the exact one I had shared with Ruby, Reassuring him that I was feeling fine. He shouted that he would pick me up in the morning and take me to school if he couldn't sort out a car for me before then.

"My numbers at the front desk if you need to get in contact." With that he waved and drove out of the car park.

I stood looking into the room, not wanting to step inside scared of what I may or may not find there.

The room was exactly how I had left it. Exactly apart from there was nothing to show that Ruby had ever been there. Feeling relieved that she wasn't laying hurt somewhere as well. I decided to let this delusion run its course or what ever it needed to do. It seemed like the fates had stepped in to make sure I had the experience in Forks that I had wanted all along.

I had a bath and put on my bunny pj's and bunny slippers. And sat wrapped up in the comforter watching tele. It was probably close to 7pm and there was a knock at the door. I got up gingerly, I really did ache, A lot! And peered through the peep hole.

"Err Mackenzie, My names Jacob; Charlie sent me. I just came over to check if you were ok? Charlie gave me something for you."

'Click'

Another piece of a puzzle fell into place. No wonder Lucas had seemed so familiar he could be Jacobs's twin brother almost. I smiled hugely as I opened the door to 'Virtual' Jacob.

"Hi!" he said looking appreciatively at my oh so unsexy bunny wear.

"So you said Chief Swan had something for me?" I asked after a moment, trying to draw Jacobs's eyes away from my very visible nipples. I almost ran back to the sofa and comforter and covered myself over. Jacob followed me to the sofa and not waiting to be asked dropped down.

He was HUGE! Even I felt tiny compared to him.

"Yeah," he said finally. "He asked me to give you these." He held out his hand and dropped a set of keys into my own. Without asking I knew that these were the keys to Bella's truck.

"Thanks, for bringing them over Jacob, I really appreciate it." I said honestly.

"Its ok, I wanted to see who everyone was talking about anyways." Was his candid reply.

"Well, I survived a fall that's all I don't have 2 heads or nothing." I gave him a playful nudge in the ribs and was rewarded by a beautiful white gleaming smile.

"No, you don't have 2 heads, and I understand a bit better now why you're the hot topic!"

"How old are you Jacob?" I asked suddenly.

"17" He replied. "You?"

"Erm…. You know what? I'm not sure!"

Jacob laughed a big friendly guffaw and suggested I look in my passport.

'_Passport, of course!'_

Well it looked like my delusionhead wanted to knock a couple of years off of me and had put me down as details, places names people all seemed a bit out of whack. I was desperate to ask Jacob about the Cullen's, but I was unsure of what I was supposed to know and what I wasn't, so I kept that on ice for a while thinking it best to find a more reliable source of information about the Cullen's than Jacob.

Jacob stayed with me for the rest of the evening, he was easy company and made me laugh, which hurt, and it helped having someone there rather than be left alone in this really weird set up.

When Jacob got up to leave I thanked him as I walked him to the door.

He smiled his stunning smile and waved as he jumped onto his dirt bike. He kicked the starter once, waved and hurtled out the car park and was gone.

I took the meds that the good doctor had prescribed me and wondered what I was going to do. Through some earlier investigation, I had found that every cell number I had stored on my phone was now gone, everything that I had that linked me to my real life in some way was no where to be found. The only things I had were the things that were totally mine, not shared with anyone. A thought suddenly occurred to me and I padded my way over to my bed, I opened the little bed side table drawer and looked inside. My books were gone!

OK I am definitely IN the Twilight Zone. Why would I have put myself in this sort of delusion where I didn't even have the solace of my beloved book for company?

'_Geez I was a mean bitch to myself!'_

I thought that maybe it was because I was sort of already with my book in some weird, trippy kind of way?

I was fishing I knew but it was the best I could come up with, plus the meds were really making me light headed. I thought that I would just shut my eyes for 5 minutes….

BANG, BANG, BANG!

"What? Huh?... I'm up!"

I grabbed the duvet and stumbled across the door to answer it. Chief swan was stood there with a look of horror on his face.

"Ms Richardson, you do remember you're at school today?"

"Yes, of course, school, gimme a second I'll be right with you." I ran to the bathroom, dumping the comforter on the way, switched the shower on and turned to squat and have a pee. Enjoying the beautiful view out of the front picture window as I had before.

I could see Charlie pacing and I could tell that he was not best pleased on having to wait on me.

'_Shit! I could see Charlie pacing!'_

I leapt off the loo and managed to slam the door shut with my outstretched left leg just before Charlie got more of an eyeful of me than he would definitely have wanted.

I was ready in record time, and I was pleased with myself that I wasn't going to be late. I was excited to see what the school looked like, though I was betting that it would be EXACTLY as I had imagined it!

"Did Jacob drop off the keys to Bella's van for you last night?" The chief asked.

"Yep, he did Thank you, there really wasn't any need for you to come with me this morning, you've been more than kind."

And he had, yes he was a bit surly and definitely taciturn but you could tell that he was a good man trying to do his best for his town.

The Chief told me to follow him to the school, so I grabbed my bag and went out into the wet May morning. As I thought, there was Bella's van, all beat up and ancient. Charlie looked at me oddly as a smile crossed my lips and I caressed the worn paintwork bonnet like it was an old friend.

"I hope your daughter won't mind me using her car?" I asked.

"She said it was fine, and told me to let you know that it sticks in second."

I nodded absorbing the information.

"Sticks in second, ok thanks."

'_MACKENZIE!'_

I shouted at myself.

"Did you say she told you to let me know?" I asked with a slight quiver in my voice. "Did she know I would need it before she left then?"

The chief looked a little confused and when he answered he talked really really slowly like he was talking to someone with limited mental ability or a young child.

"No, she told me when I spoke to her last night."

I had grabbed both of the Chiefs arms in my hands and pulled him to face me.

"You spoke to her last night?" I screeched, trying to sound as casual as I possible could.

"Yes, that's what I just said…..maybe you should have another day of rest Ms Richardson before you go to school?"

I could see the Chief was wincing slightly so I released my Kung foo grip off of his arms and replied. "No, that's fine; I'm fine, let's go then shall we? I don't want to be late for my first day!"

I made a mental note to try to be around when Bella spoke to Charlie next and with mixed feelings of trepidation and excitement I followed Charlie's Police car to school.

He stopped away from the school gates and waved me past so that it didn't look like I was being escorted by the long arm of the law to lessons! I waved to him, but my eyes were fixed on the car park, The Car Park!

I ran a quick eye over the cars in the parking lot, searching for a silver Volvo, there wasn't a car of that make or colour in the lot at all. I couldn't help but feel desperately disappointed.

'_Mackenzie May, your delusional, what did you expect? That you could orchestrate this shit?'_

I felt a bit stupid hoping that I could direct my delusion.

With my head on all sorts of naughty possibilities if I had been able, I hopped out of the van and walked to the main entrance. It was weird not feeling scared or worried about walking into this alien environment. I wasn't sure if it was because I was much older or that I knew this was all in my head, or that I felt pretty comfortable in being able to kick the shit out of anyone who pissed me off!

I nodded to myself slightly thinking that probably all 3.

I was aware of someone walking with me and staring up at me, I turned to look at them and as I did so a very enthusiastic boy said,

"Hi you must be Mackenzie? Im.."

"Eric," I finished for him.

He looked a bit surprised but nodded after a split second and continued with his hyper babble about himself, the school and the paper. It was really weird knowing what he was going to say pretty much as he said it. It seemed my psyche had decided to place me at the beginnings of the book.

I wondered if all the same characters would come into play. I also wondered if I could set off some kind of star trek paradox thingy if I said the wrong thing at the wrong time.

With all this running through my head I found my way to the main offices and collected my time table…

_Oh my god I was back at school!'_

…and was pleased to see that we had gym for our first class. I had what was only just passable as gym clothes, my old torn joggers and a ripped up vintage bob Marley T and my stinky, well loved decrepit runners. I ripped the bottom of my T off and tied it round my head to keep my midlength hair from falling in my eyes and I was ready to go.

I walked out after the rest of the girls and I admit it, my ego had a huge boost. I heard the collective gasp on my entrance. The boys who were already in the gym stopped what they were doing and stared and I knew I was gonna be someone's wet dream tonight.

I joined the girls, and their reaction was on the most part acidic! I smiled and took no notice. I was ready to play, I wanted to get out some of my frustration at no knowing what the fuck was going on and I had a split second of pity for these girls who were gonna get it with both barrels.

I really enjoyed the Gym lesson, I worked up a good sweat and was able to vent a bit of anger, something I hadn't been able to do for quite a while due to my karate being on hiatus. The girl with the bloodied nose was looking at me reproachfully; the rest of the girls now looked mostly worried! The butch female phys Ed teacher asked if I would sign up for some teams and though I didn't say yes, I didn't say no either. I went and got showered and changed back into my regular clothes. I looked at my timetable and my next lesson was due to be Biology. I fumbled with the map and tried to see where I was in relation to where I needed to go. A sweet voice asked "Are you ok? You seem a little lost!"

I span around and was met by Angela. I couldn't stop the huge cheesy grin spread across my face. "Oh Angela, I'm so pleased its you." I grabbed her and hugged her to me like some long lost teddy. She seemed a little startled and out of breath when I released her but there was a genuine smile on her face.

'_Lost?'_

She had no idea! "I need to get to my Biology class but I don't have any idea where it is!" I explained.

"It's ok. I'm off to that class as well, we can walk together." She said shyly. I liked Angela, she was honest and decent and friendly and seemed like a warm beacon in this icy little sea I was trying to swim through. Just as we got to what looked like our Biology classroom, Eric was waiting outside the door looking around for something. I had a sneaky suspicion that I was the something, but I made a move to squeeze through the door past him and get to the teacher. My move was thwarted by Mike Newton spying me from inside and sprinting deer like to the doorway where I was sandwiched between Eric and Mike and the door. I raised my hands and sucked in my chest and butt trying as much as possible to keep away from the boy's lower regions and the semi erect penises that had sprung to life, and pushed through. Once free of the door I straightened and walked to the desk. Mr. Banner took my paperwork and led me to a table. For a second my heart flip-flopped as this was where Bella and Edward should meet, had they not both been off in their own virtual reality somewhere doing what fictitious characters do. I giggled to myself and slipped onto the stool, dumping my bags under the table. I was chuckling as I read the various table graffiti when the person who had been tucking their own bag neatly under the table next to me sat up!

"Oh Shit!" I stated loudly as I turned to face a pair of dark angry eyes.

20 pairs of shocked and amused eyes turned to me!

"I mean, Oh dear, erm …you made me jump… err, Hi!" I swallowed trying to dislodge the huge bowling ball sized lump that was sat just above my larynx encroaching on my ability to speak properly.

Edward didn't say anything, just looked at me. I stared right back at him, I wasn't some gauche scared 17 year old, plus I had the added benefit that I was fairly sure that he wasn't likely to hurt me, despite what his dark look was telling me; Unless of course, my delusionhead had decided to play some cruel twist of fate on me and make Edward into a meatasaurus of Atkins diet proportions!

As we sat staring at each other I took in the vamp gods every feature. WOW Carlisle had been something pretty darn good, but lay me on my back and brand me Edward if he wasn't the most perfect hunk of manhood I had EVER, set eyes on. He looked like the actor from the film, but he was so so much MORE. The jaw was defined, the neck long and regal, his cheekbones were high and Fuck, his eyes, they were black I mean no kidding totally black. His hair was bronze with lighter and darker tones running through it and had the look of someone who had spent the past month in bed making love.

'_Holy shit what is he doing to me?'_

And damn if he didn't smell like something I wanted to smell for the rest of my life. I was in danger of seriously salivating on the desk and had to stop myself from stripping myself naked and lying back on the table and demanding he took me there and then. It was a good thing that Edward wouldn't be able to read my thoughts else he would be running for the hills about now! The teacher walked around the room handing out pipettes, which broke my gaze from his, I thanked the teacher briefly and turned back to Edward. He didn't look as angry just really puzzled.

"I guess I need to thank you." I said. Once I had managed to learn how to talk and look at him at the same time.

'_Yay for multi tasking!'_

He raised a perfect eyebrow in question. "I heard that it was because of you im still here."

"It's fine. You don't need to thank me." He replied in his musical voice.

"Well you may think I don't need to thank you but I do, so I shall, so Thank you, for… for what ever it was you did for me." I nodded happy that I had done the right thing.

"What did you do for me?" I asked not able to hide the genuine interest.

"You don't remember?" he asked me quietly. I shook my head.

"It was nothing; I just took you to my father at the hospital." He finished flatly.

"Well thanks." I felt that there was more than what he was saying but I didn't press him.

The lesson was pretty interesting and I was switching from looking at Edward to listening to what the teacher was saying. There were a couple of points that he had wrong but they were common mistakes to anyone who didn't work in the field of haematology. I kept my thoughts to myself but jotted down the correct answer to the problem. As I looked up I noticed that Edward was looking at what I had written. His beautiful eyebrows pulled down over his eyes in a look that I didn't understand.

If I moved even a fraction closer to him, he would move that fraction away from me. If my head moved closer his would move away, if my hand or leg or body moved, his would mirror mine. I was transfixed on the way his chiseled jaw would flex in effort.

My eyes sparkled at his dark black pools.

He turned away quickly and as expected left just as the bell was about to ring.

"Bye then "I shouted after him and giggled.

'_My delusionhead was fun'_

I skipped through the rest of my lessons and went into the cafeteria. I scanned the whole area and saw Angela beckon me over. She was sat with Jessica and Eric and Mike and I knew that I would need to be introduced. So familiar were all these people to me that I was having difficulty in restraining my views of them. Like I had said from the beginning, I said what was on my mind. Even if it were to my detriment.

I grabbed my tray and walked over to Angela and let her introduce me to the others. Jessica had been in my gym class but had been wise enough to stay out of my way. I didn't like the way she validated herself by pointing out others perceived faults.

"So where are you from?" Mike Newton asked.

I had been prepared for these types of questions and I wanted to be as truthful as I could so that was my plan, where ever I could I would tell the truth.

I explained that I was older than them that I came from England on the outskirts of London and that the school I was attending was more of a university, and I had been lucky enough to be selected for the exchange program. The group surrounding me looked suitable impressed and convinced. I was hoping that I wouldn't need to run through the story again as I knew that Eric would probably put the details around the whole school by next period. I looked up to the table where I knew Edward and his family should be. Sure enough there they were.

Now I know it kept saying it over and over in the book how beautiful they were and even I got to the point where I was like enough already, we get it they are gorgeous. But. They really and truly were beautiful. Not just in a physical sense, but in the way a piece of music is beautiful, the love of a mother and her child is beautiful, the way an old couple sat on Brighton beach holding hands is oh so beautiful.

They were all these and still more.

"Impressive aren't they?" Jessica's nasally voice interrupted my musing.

She went through her intros for the 5 people sat around the table. I looked at them all studying them. I could see Edward talking to them and they all looked up in our direction. Emmett's big frame was open and friendly even; he had a protective arm around Rosalie's shoulder. She was stunning, but there was something very sad about her, and even sat there with an outright challenge on her face I felt sorry for her. I smiled and moved my gaze to Jasper. Again the pale skin and the purple rings around the eyes didn't detract from this warrior's beauty. I did acknowledge that he seemed to be on constant alert and looked like he needed a good nights sleep. Knowing that this was impossible I moved my gaze onto Alice.

My heart gave a little lurch when I saw Alice; there was something about her that reminded me so strongly of Ruby that my eyes started to well with tears. The loss that I had felt coupled with the total lack of any understanding of what was really happening to me was too much Seeing Alice sat with a protective hand on Jaspers leg so casual but so intimate made my heart wrench. I actually started to feel faint and the panic that I had managed to keep locked up until that point started to bubble to the surface... I stood up and made my excuses quickly and ran for the door.

I managed to get outside and sprawled on the steps of the cafeteria and shoved my head between my knees.

I was taking some deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth, and was trying to steady the rapid beating of my heart. A thin sheen of perspiration had broken out on my skin, but it helped being outside.

I stripped off my jacket and tore the jumper over my head.

"Are you ok?" came that beautiful musical voice.

I kept my head down, not wanting to look at Edward in case he made my head spin again.

"I'm fine." I told him, using his own words to me earlier.

"Well you look like you may need to go see my father again." He said as he ran a cool hand over my forehead.

I shivered at the contact of his hand to my face, but the coolness was welcome.

"You don't test a temp on the head, its better on the back of the neck."

I'd said it before I knew what I was doing, always saying exactly what was on my mind.

"Anyway, I don't have a temperature, I'm fine." I kicked myself for feeling so flustered.

I looked up at him and saw the beginnings of a devastating crooked smile.

His eyes wrinkled at the corners as he placed a professional hand down the back of my neck. I lifted my chin, silently daring him .OK he wanted to play did he…..?

I moved my top away from my shoulders allowing him to reach me without difficulty.

As his hand touched my skin it felt like a thousand little electric shocks had been triggered and all of them were heading to my nipples and between my legs.

"Oh Shit!" I gasped out. Edward removed his hand so quickly that I couldn't have been sure if it had really been there at all.

"Kenze, what are you doing? What are you doing?" I demanded of myself out loud.

I looked up at his dark eyes and I hated what I saw there. He looked confused, and troubled. I could deal with anything apart from the disgust he was showing now.

I got up "Sorry" I muttered my sadness now more than it had been before, and walked to the truck and got in and drove away. I didn't look back I didn't want to see Edwards face so disgusted at me.

'_My delusionhead was a sick fucking bastard!'_

That was the first night I didn't dream about Edward Cullen!

**A/N how's it for you? Are you liking the parallels? Review please Edward thinks this would be lovely :o)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N here's a bit more...**

**I do not own any of this twilight world only the stuff that's from me and makes no sense. All else belongs to S.M**

**I am now un betad so live with it I write it you read it I cant spell…lol**

**There are not enough Twilight words of thanks**

**Hugs**

**Xx**

**Please read at ½ space.**

**Chapter 4**

**Your Move!**

I didn't go to school for the next 2 days. I was too busy wallowing in my own filth and misery. By the evening of the 3rd night since my discharge from hospital I had almost cried myself out. I hadn't cried because I was some stupid idiot girl who needed someone to tell me what to do, I cried because I missed my friends and I needed them to know I was ok, and I needed to know that they were all ok as well. The more I tried to figure out what I should do the more confused I became and the more I felt hopeless. I had a strong feeling that as in a book I needed to go from beginning to end. I was so impatient but I realized things couldn't be rushed.

I ran a bath and submerged myself totally allowing the near furnace like temperature to wash away any residue of hopelessness that was still lingering.

I dried my hair and got dressed. I even put on some mascara and some lippy. I sprayed on my favourite perfume and grabbed my bag as I walked out the door and went over to the bar in the main area of the Lodge.

I grabbed a seat at the end of the bar and ordered a beer. There was what looked like a band setting up on the stage area and I sharp pang of loneliness hit me across the face. Even Toby rubbing his crotch up and down my thigh would be better than forced to sit in a bar on my own like some sad saddo! I decided to stay for an hour and then I would return to my room, I just needed to be around people. After the first 20 minutes I had had enough, I was drawing some unwanted attention so I called it a day. I waved bye to the chap behind the bar and grabbed my bag and headed out to my room. It was very bright outside as nearly a full moon was visible through the minimal clouds. I looked towards the cliff top steps where I had fallen and wandered over to take a look. I could see the steps almost to the bottom because of the brightness of the moon. My eyes scanned the beach, hearing the waves crashing against the shore and the partly submerged rocks.

I saw the huge Wolf only by chance. It had run out onto the beach, but then drastically changes direction so that it was hugging close to the cliff wall. I couldn't tell what colour it was but it was the size of a horse, and it ran almost soundlessly along the sand. The big ears were turning in every direction like duel radars and its tongue lolled out the side of its smiling mouth. I resisted the urge to call out and with a final glance back, I walked to my room.

I had only just closed the door behind me when there was a light tap on it.

I looked through the peep hole, smiled and opened the door to Jacob.

"Hi Jacob." I said looking at his unusual night time attire. "Nice to see you dressed up for me!" I said sarcastically, noting the jeans that were the only thing he wore.

He ran an appreciative eye over me

"Yeah, and looks like you did the same for me!"

"There's nothing wrong with the rock chick look!" I stated as I flung my biker boots off.

"You won't hear any arguments from me!" He said suggestively.

"Anyway, what's up? What are you doing here? Is this a social visit or are you on a mission for the Chief?"

Jacob looked slightly embarrassed, so I guessed that _Charlie's__ mission_ was the correct assumption. "He just wanted me to check in on you as you hadn't been at school."

'_Wow, he was a good detective!'_

"Tell him I'm fine. I am going back tomorrow." Jacob nodded his agreement.

"Was there anything else?" I asked him as he seemed to be thinking of a way to say something.

"Look, don't let Charlie know I told you this but, just be careful, you shouldn't go wandering around. Especially at night on your own. There have been these …." He seemed to be choosing his words carefully. "…Attacks, animal attacks…if you need me or need to go anywhere, you can always call me." Jacob looked genuinely worried.

"Thanks Jacob, but I really can handle myself; you and the Chief don't need to worry about me. I'm not scared of some big Dog or Big overgrown teddy bear."

'_Shit! Way to go at keeping your big dumb mouth shut Kenze!'_

Jacobs's eyes flew to meet mine. "Why did you say that?"

I floundered, "I think I heard someone telling one of the other guests who was planning on going hiking. That there had possibly been a bear or rogue dog attack. Those Rottweiler's get pretty huge you know. " I stated unconvincingly.

"Oh, ok." He didn't look too sure but he let the matter drop.

'_Yes I am the think on your feet queen.'_

I hastily changed the subject to one that I knew was going to interest Jacob. Bella!

"So how come you know Bella?"

"We've known each other since we were kids, Charlie thought she was coming here to stay for a while, but she changed her mind suddenly and announced that she was taking off to England and that you were coming in her place."

"When did she tell you all this?" I asked curious now to know what Bella had known that I hadn't.

"Well she kept it quiet from Charlie else he would have kicked up, so I gather that she organized everything and then on the day she just went and left a note." Jacob snickered to himself. "Geez Charlie went ape!"

Well that was interesting but didn't really help my current situation. My best hope was actually getting to talk to Bella herself. Because of me and my _fall through the rabbit hole_, Bella and Edward hadn't met yet, and as drawn to Edward as I was I knew I couldn't stay here. I had to know if there was a way for me to get back and for Bella to get back here where she belonged.

I kicked Jacob out soon after and said I would see him at some point. He nodded and waved and walked out, brushing off my offer of a jumper, into the clear cold night.

As I pulled up to school the next day, I had a lot on my mind. Firstly I didn't want to stay at the Lodge for more than the 4 weeks, I would need to find some alternative lodgings. Something a little more homely. Secondly it didn't seem to matter what I spent here my bank account always stayed the same! And finally for the moment I had to hand back Bella's truck, I didn't feel right running around in it. I wondered if Bella was off bombing about London in my Union Jack Mini. For a second I clenched my teeth then berated myself for being such greeneyedmonster-delusionhead!

I went through the morning classes, none of it was particularly taxing. I was one of those annoyingly lucky people that seemed to retain facts and did well at tests with out actually having to try too hard.

'_If I'd studied I would have been a proper no shit Sherlock genius!'_

I wondered into the cafeteria and spotted Eric. I made a beeline for him and his face brightened when I sat down next to him. He soon looked less happy when I asked if I could borrow his laptop as I needed to do a bit of research. He grudgingly handed over his beloved machine and I moved off to a quiet table.

I ran some general searches and went on the BBC news website but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The recession, war, births, deaths and marriages. The world was still turning and didn't look like it missed me!

I looked up from the screen and saw 5 pairs of golden eyes looking at me suspiciously. I looked back to the computer screen hastily, making sure I didn't look at Edward at all and pretended to myself that I was far too engrossed in what I was doing to pay more than a fleeting notice of the Cullen Club.

I had started to refer to their little tribe in this manner as this is how they portrayed themselves to the rest of the pupils. They were the coolest club in school and no one else was allowed access.

I returned Eric's laptop and grabbing an apple I walked out the dining room. This afternoon I had Biology again but I wanted to check something out in the library before I went to class. I glanced at my map confirming where it was and went straight to the popular culture section. The book I had been searching for wasn't there. I then went to the librarian and asked if they had any books by Stephenie Meyers.

"Who dear?" the librarian asked

"Never mind, I think I must have made a mistake."

I walked out my suspicions confirmed. The bell rang and I had to run to not be late.

As I walked into class Edward was sat at the desk already. I smiled to everyone around me and ignored him. The look of disgust in his eyes last time we had been together still too raw for me to handle.

'_Childish, I know. But let's face it, I was having a shit week!'_

"So, how are you?" He asked after a few minutes. I kept my head down not wanting to look at that devastating face.

"I'm feeling much better, thanks." I was paying extreme attention to the back of the head of the person in front of me.

"I see! So how are you liking the weather?"

'_Are you kidding me? He did actually ask about the weather'_

"Erm, it's just like being at home!" I risked a quick glance at him.

'_Bugger!'_

Edward was still looking at me. This time his eyes were no longer black but they were that rich Ochre, amber golden tone, which no one had come up with a suitable name for yet.

Not liking that he always seemed to have the upper hand I mentally slapped myself around a bit and told myself to behave like an adult. I was older than him after all, he was what? Late teens?

'_OK, so technically he nearly had a century on me, I wasn't going to loose sleep over it!'_

Mr. Banner brought round the slides and Edward offered for me to go first. We identified the slides quickly and Edward was staring at me with that same puzzled look.

"You don't act like the normal kids here." He blurted out.

'_And there was me worried that I said things as I thought them!'_

I laughed, "Thanks for that, I'll try to be a bit more _normal_ in the future!"

Edward looked up, checking if I was upset really.

"Relax. It's fine."

Edward asked me some more questions, all of them about where I was from what I liked why I had come here. I had to pay particular care of what I was saying, I told him only the bits I was able and he knew it and I could tell it was frustrating him.

"So both you and your best friend came out on the exchange?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, but Ruby had an emergency to attend to!" I replied as casually as I could.

"So where's your friend Ruby now?" he asked all earnest.

"At home safe and well." I said in the hope that it was true.

Whether Edward picked up that talking about Ruby made me uncomfortable, I don't know. He did move onto lighter subject matter after that.

"Wow does every exchange student get the 5o q inquisition?" I asked with a half smile.

He hit me with a full on Dazzle Offensive.

"Only those that interest me and aren't telling the full story!" he fired back. The look of amused frustration and interest evident in his golden gaze.

I batted my eyelashes at him and grinned cheekily; he seemed slightly perturbed and couldn't seem to keep his eyes from resting on my lips,

"Speaking of which, I gather _you_ were out of town yesterday!" I didn't make it a question, just a simple statement of fact. 2 could play at this game. His eyes shot from my mouth to my own eyes trying to see some meaning behind my words. His brow furrowed and my fingers twitched to reach out and smooth away the wrinkle that his consternation was leaving there. His hands were clenched in tight balls, and I suspected that the table would be a little worse for wear when Edward removed them.

Buoyed up by my little victory I edged my chair as close to his as I could. I was gambling hugely but the not being in control of anything in my life, made me reckless!

A look of terror came over his face, as I pushed my chest against him making sure my nipples made contact with the grey t-shirt he was wearing and the contoured lines of his chest and I placed a leg either side of his, making sure our thighs touched.

I was intrigued that though I knew he didn't actually need to breath, the pace of his breathing quickened. I heard little splintering sounds coming from underneath Edwards's clenched fists, but he didn't pull away from me. I reached out and placed my warm hand over his cool one. I leant into him as far as I could, letting my nose almost nuzzle into the bronze hair and whispered in his ear for only him to hear. "Im not the only one who isn't telling the full story and we both know it!" I moved as swiftly as I could, grabbing my bag, and left the room with a look of victory on my face. So now I knew he wasn't impervious to me, I did hold some sort of attraction for him, what I wasn't sure of was if it was in a meal or a show type of way, was he attracted to me because I was the meal or because I was the after dinner entertainment! But at least I had got some sort of reaction!

I was half way down the hall when the bell notifying the end of lessons rang!

'_Shit! Note to self, don't wallow in your little victories Kenze you will end up doing something stupid!'_

I toyed with the idea of going back to class and making some excuse about throwing up or something as my reason for my early departure of the lesson. But I didn't want to spoil the fraction of a headway I had got with Edward, by doing so. In the end I accepted that I was probably on course for a detention, and wondered if diplomatic immunity was covered by the student exchange program!

The next few weeks passed in a blur, I was actually starting to think like a teen again. I was hoping that I wouldn't break out in acne and take to climbing out my bedroom window at all hours of the night!

'_Another story for another night!'_

My days were spent in classes learning stuff I had learnt years before, and researching for any hints as to what was going on in my own real non-delusionhead world. That and looking for a more permanent place to stay. I walked around the school not paying much attention to what was going on other than the little band of friends I had gravitated to and who had been pulled to me like orbiting satellites. I on the other hand orbited like the moon around the family that were like the sun to me. I tried to spend a day without looking for them or needing to know exactly where they were. I failed.

Edward had avoided me since our last little run in, which suited me really. I was more able to concentrate when he wasn't around. A particularly cold morning made me run back into the room and grab an extra jumper before starting the dawn chorus roar of Bella's truck.

I drove to school taking a bit more care than I usually did. The wheels of the heavy truck swung out dangerously as I hit a patch of ice. I managed to straighten up and made the rest of the journey with out incident.

We were off on some field trip today and I was contemplating ditching and escaping and making intimate friends with my man Jack! But the thought of a JD hangover didn't sound as fun as it used to.

So I got out the truck cab into the extreme cold of the Forks morning. Turning round I came face to face with Mike Newton. This boy was getting right up my nose; he would rub his hands on me and try to thrust his ever present semi erection at me like some pointer stick lecturers used when ever I was with in groping distance. So seeing him there stood before me trying to do his best James Bond international playboy impression was not welcomed.

I didn't say anything to him just looked at him. Behind him across the parking lot I saw, Jasper and Alice and Edward walk across the lot. As Edward saw me he stopped, looking over at us.

"So what's on your mind Mike? " I asked the Daniel Craig wannabe. He swallowed trying to find the right words.

"It's the Girls Choice Dance coming up soon, and I was wondering if you wanted to ask me to go with you?" The rhythm of his speech had picked up pace with each word he said. I imagined much like his heart rate.

"That's really sweet but I thought _Girls Choice_ meant the girl gets to ask? Is that right? Or have I gone and got it wrong again?" I giggled as I spoke in the most brainless vapid voice I could muster without vomiting up all over him.

Mike shuffled his feet. "Well yeah, kind of, but I didn't want you to feel left out, you know with out a date!"

'_I was being offered a mercy date?'_

I saw Edward burst out laughing.

"Tempting, but I have other plans, I'm sorry." I said, no hint of apology in my voice. Edwards laughter had ceased also and I flicked my eyes past Mike to see him stood with his head cocked to one side like he was listening to something.

I looked back to Mike, "It's a shame really, I love to dance, gives you the opportunity to get up close and personal!" I shot another look over Mikes shoulder. Edward was looking suitably sour.

Mike's face looked eager and he shuffled a little closer to me. I started to walk across the parking lot backwards "And just so you know, I wouldn't be without a date," I turned slightly toward the trio of Cullen's still stood in the middle of the car park "Edwards taking me out that day!" I looked straight into Edwards's eyes and winked. Alice let out a spitting half choking snort; Jasper raised his eyebrows, both of them looking at the total look of shock on Edwards face. Alice hadn't seen that one coming!

Turning back towards Mike again. "One other thing Mike, please stop trying to dry hump me every time you walk past me like some horny little terrier dog! You know what happens to the nasty rampant canines if they don't?" Mike shook his head dumbly. "They get castrated!"

With one last wink to Edward I skipped to the bus. Edwards musical laugh ringing in my ears.

I walked into the cafeteria a little unsure how I would be greeted. Mike looked a bit sheepish and turned away from my gaze but Angela and the others made a space for me to sit. I did my usual scan of the room, reassuring myself of their presence but found Edward missing. Alice was speaking and Rosalie and Emmett looked up at me, Rosalie's expression guarded, Emmett's delighted! Angela and Jessica were planning a shopping trip into Port Angeles, a little stab of sadness went through me as I thought about mine and Ruby's retail therapy. Still stuck with dark thoughts Jessica's asked if I wanted to go with them to help them choose dresses for the dance. I agreed and thanked them for asking me. Maybe it was what I needed and plus I remembered that there had been a bookstore in the town that was worth a visit.

When I got back to the Lodge I showered and changed and waited for Angela and Jessica to arrive. They arrived on time and we set off. It was nice to go and do something as totally mindless as shopping after the few weeks of stress and worry. We all chatted happily on the journey, even Jessica was lighthearted and friendly after Mike had accepted to go to the dance with her. I didn't tell her that he had asked me already! I didn't think that would help Anglo-American relations!

Angela was as quietly poised as she always was and didn't say anything other than she had asked Ben. I was happy for her because she had such a huge heart and I knew that Ben totally adored her, which made him alright in my book.

Port Angeles still held that bit of charm for me and the few references to twilight that had been visible on my last visit, were of course no where to be seen. We went to most of the same stores, but I didn't recognize one shop assistant and they didn't show any flickers of recognition to me either.

Both the girls tried on some beautiful dresses and even I was persuaded to try on a full length gown. I had never worn anything like it before. We were near where Angela had told me the book store was so I told the girls I would meet them a bit later. Making sure we had each others cell numbers I went off on my own.

The book shop was amazing, it had so many unique and rare books it smelt old and learn'ed somehow and made you want to whisper. I asked the cheery lady behind the counter if she had heard of an author called Stephenie Myers she shook her head but said she would keep her eye open for any of her work if I recommended her. I told her that she was an excellent writer and her worlds that she wrote about drew you in

. I wasn't sure how long I sat reading and looking at different books. The woman didn't seem in any kind of hurry to shut up shop and she seemed more than happy for me to sit in the middle of an aisle reading Jane Ayre. After a time I looked up and noticed that it had gotten dark, it was twilight I thought to myself. I purchased the book along with a couple others and left, saying my thanks as I closed the door. I was looking around trying to see where I needed to go and realized that I was on the wrong side of the town. I set off at a brisk pace my stomach only now making growling noises. I cut behind the boutique I had left the two girls in earlier and stopped dead. There were 5 men and a girl sat and stood in a shop's back doorway drinking and for a second I felt a twinge of alarm. I ignored the feeling and carried on walking. As I drew level with them, 3 of the men moved forward taking up most of the walkway. I didn't slow my pace, I just veered off around them. I made sure I didn't make eye contact and carried on walking. I could hear their laughter and the suggestive remarks all of which didn't really bother me. I could see the rooftop of the building I was heading for and relaxed slightly. I turned the last corner and found myself in another more run down side street. I turned thinking I had taken a wrong turn or missed one and I saw the 3 men who had been in the doorway before. They quickly circled me and the biggest and drunkest of the trio spoke, his breath smelling of stale beer, cigarettes and an unwashed body!

"Hey pretty lady, where are you off to in such a hurry?"

I eyed him carefully before I answered. "I'm off to meet my friends." I said as casually as possible.

"Why not stay and party with us?" he said whilst holding the half bottle of cheap whiskey out to me.

"No thanks." I said. "I'm driving." I lied.

The three men had closed in around me and had backed me almost up against a wall. The big one got agitated, saying that I thought I was too good for them.

"No," trying to sound as casual and as unthreatened as I could. "They are expecting me that's all." I moved to walk past them. He made a lunge for me and as I stepped back to avoid him I was grabbed at the top of my arm by one of the smaller men. The 3rd was stood back slightly cheering on the other two. As soon as he had laid his hands on me the other 2 closed in close. One reaching for my other arm the other went straight for my chest. He placed a hand tight over my mouth to keep me from screaming, while the other ripped at my jacket and top, trying to reveal the skin beneath. All thoughts of panic dropped away from me, I felt calm and totally calculated. My years of karate had brought me to this point. I relaxed my whole body, but made sure my feet were planted squarely on the ground. I brought my head back slowly, with a smile on my face, the 3 men relaxed fractionally and smiled right on back at me. Thinking I was going to join in their repulsive idea of a party willingly. Then with a speed, force and accuracy they hadn't thought possible I brought my head forward as hard and as fast as I could on the big ones face. I heard the satisfying crunch of his nose breaking and his yelp of pain.

"Hold her, fucking hold her." He shouted at his co-horts, one hand holding onto his bloodied nose whilst the other punched me in the face. I saw it coming and was able to turn my head at the last minute so I only caught half the impact.

The pain from the pressure cut I now had above my right eyebrow focused my mind.

I swept my left leg behind me and unbalanced the man who had grabbed my arm, ripping and twisting my arm from his grip I turned and brought my knee with all the force and frustration and anger I had been harboring for the last few weeks and made full contact with his testicles! He dropped to the floor holding his crotch in agony. His strangled scream and the shouts of alarm from the broken nosed man mingled together. I turned to look for the 3rd man; he was now backing away with an uncertain look on his face. I was so angry and so pissed off that I was literally seeing red, so I wasn't even aware of the silver Volvo as it screeched into view. I wasn't even aware that it was Edward who put his arms out to me to re assure me, all I wanted was to fight these bastards who had no right to lay their hands on me. Edward turned me and I went to throat punch him thinking it was one of the trio. He blocked my punch easily and before I knew what had happened he had both his arms wrapped around me, pinning my arms to my side. All the time he was talking to me telling me it was alright I was ok now. My 3 attackers on seeing me safely restrained took the opportunity to run. It was then I found my voice, now I screamed in frustration and anger. I sank to the pavement and Edward sank with me too. Not letting go of his hold though he had loosened it as I had stopped struggling so much. I don't know how long we were sat there like that for. But finally the adrenaline left me totally. Eventually Edward broke his hold and held out his hand to help me up.

I took it and he easily pulled me to my feet.

"Are you sure your ok?" He asked the concern obvious in his voice and on his face.

"I'm fine." I said not trusting my voice to not quiver to say more.

"Come on get in the car I'll take you home." He said gently.

I sat in his car and snuggled down into the leather seats. "Angela and Jessica." I stated, "I need to let them know where I am." I quickly dialed Angela's cell number and trying to sound as calm as I could, apologized for being late and I told them that I was getting a lift home from a friend.

I looked towards Edward and I knew I was going to get told off. I sat with a feeling of resignation knowing it was coming and accepting it.

"What were you thinking Mackenzie? Why on earth did you try to fight?"

"Look Edward, I don't mean to be rude but I tried to walk away and talk my way out of it, they came off a lot worse than me. They would have been a lot worse off if you hadn't come along. Anyway, they lost the chance of a peaceful outcome as soon as they touched me." The anger started to well up in me again. I heard Edward hiss and he slammed on the brakes of the car. "They touched you?" did they hurt you? His own voice had taken on a truly menacing quality. His body had tensed and had the look of a wild animal about to spring at his prey.

He looked me over and saw my torn jacket and top, what can only be described as a growl escaped his lips "You're bleeding!" He said sounding alarmed and frighteningly quiet at the same time.

"Yeh it's my eyebrow I think its cut from the punch, I was too slow." I berated myself absently.

Edward jumped out of the car with a snarl. Shocked, I leaped out after him. He started pacing almost running around the area, this was a side of Edward I had not seen.

"Take my car and drive it to my house." He ordered. Still pacing.

"Where are you going?" I asked him, though I already knew the answer.

"To take care of some business, no one hurts you. Ever." His incredibly handsome face was strained at the effort it took to stop from going after the 3 men there and then.

I stood in front of Edward stopping his pacing march and placed both my hands on his chest. He stopped but was looking around wildly like he saw much more than I could possible understand. I needed him to calm down I needed him to listen to me. I placed my hands on his beautiful tortured face, forcing him to look at me. "Please."

Edward met my eyes, his golden to my grey.

"I need YOU, to take me home Edward, please don't do what your thinking of doing."

He pulled back slightly from me, "How could you possibly know what I'm thinking? You have no idea what I'm capable of."

Pushing my whole body against his, "I know exactly what you are capable of Edward, and I know you won't leave me when I ask you to stay with me, when I tell you I need you."

"Please." My hand moved around his collar behind his neck, my other hand was on his arm, I was looking at his eyes and it felt like I was loosing myself in those golden pools. I lifted my chin and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, my heart was pounding in my ears.

"Please." I said again as I kissed near the corner of his mouth. Edward was motionless, his arms were not touching me they just hung by his sides. All I could feel was my need, my need for Edward nothing else existed at that minute. His lips were cool and unresponsive and I clenched onto him tighter still, my need for him so great. I ran my tongue gently across his bottom lip; still Edward seemed a million miles away from me. He was a man of ice and I felt the bitter cold of his rejection. Finally knowing that I was beat, I went to release him, his arms suddenly came up around my waist and his lips though they didn't soften, molded to meet mine. As he returned my kiss ever so gently a groan escaped me as I felt his tongue brush the inside of my own bottom lip. His hand was on my hip, pulling me into his marble like erection. He ran a line of kisses at my throat and it was all I could do to stay on my feet, my whole body was shaking with the need to be his.

His hold on me was getting stronger more urgent as he moved his mouth against mine along my cheek and towards my forehead crushing my hips against him. Suddenly he stiffened and stopped kissing me, though his lips remained in contact with my skin. I opened my eyes and there was such a look of torment and torture on his face, and something I didn't recognize. I wondered what on earth could be wrong. I went to move away from him, but his arms held me easily where I was. His eyes were fixed and staring, not on my eyes, but on…on the cut I had on my eyebrow that was still bleeding!

'_FUCK'_

How stupid I was to have not thought of that, how thoughtless I was to have put Edward through this, how selfish I was. Everything I could berate myself with I did. I deserved whole heartedly whatever Edward did to me and it still wouldn't be punishment enough for putting him in this awful terrible position.

"Edward?" I said so quietly. "I'm sorry."

I relaxed totally in his arms and surrendered myself to him, ready to accept the consequence of my own selfish needs. In that moment Edward saw my surrender and sighed. He dropped his forehead to mine and said, "Let's go home."

Neither of us spoke, we were both too wrapped up in dealing with our personal demons to attempt to try to offer assistance to the other to fight theirs.

"This is all wrong." I muttered shaking my head.

"I Know." Edward replied gently.

I turned to him, not realizing I had spoken out loud. Although I knew that all that was happening was either not supposed to happen or it was supposed to happen with someone else it still felt like a mighty slap in the face to hear Edward agree with me and say it.

"I am sorry Edward for…." _'For getting bashed up and bleeding all over you and then throwing myself at you and practically begging you to make love to me. For loving you'_

"…For what Mackenzie? You have nothing to be sorry about. Its me who should be sorry, I should have stayed away from you like Carlisle said." His beautiful face troubled as his eyes remained on the road.

"Why would he tell you to stay away from me Edward? I'm basically a good person, full on sometimes, scatty definitely, loyal totally. Honest always."

"Well almost always." I amended, "As long as no one is going to be hurt by it."

I heard his light chuckle and I looked up to see him smiling at me again.

"You really aren't like any of the kids at school." He said.

"I'm willing to bet im nothing like anyone you've ever met!" I stated.

"No, your not. I wish you would trust me Kenzie."

Rational thought went out the window for a second as I tried to focus my mind again. All I wanted to hear was him saying my name again. I imagined him calling my name whilst we made love and I had to suppress a moan escaping from my lips.

I managed to pull myself together, "I trust you Edward, I just don't think that you would believe me if I told you everything." I looked out of the window.

'_I don't think you would want to still be friends if I told you!'_

That was probably the real reason why I was putting off telling him the inevitable.

We drove on in silence and before long we were on the outskirts of Forks. We pulled up outside a house and I wondered where we were, until I saw Charlie walk out the front door!

"What are we doing here?" I asked Edward suspiciously.

"I thought it would be best if you weren't alone tonight." He said calmly.

"You could have stayed with me!" I said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I don't think that would have been such a good idea, do you?" He said raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"Actually, I think it would have be a _very_ good idea, but if your just too scared of a girl! Well then…." I sniffed.

"Oh I am very scared of you Mackenzie May Richardson! You have no idea!"

'_Bugger, he always does that!'_

I looked between Edward and Charlie and decided that I had no right to pick an argument with Edward now, not after all I had put him through.

"OK, I'm going, I will see you later Edward, and again I'm sorry and thank you, for everything." I leant over and kissed him on the cheek.

"Sleep well Mackenzie." Was all I heard as I turned and walked away from him towards the house.

Chief Swan took me inside and explained the Alice had called explaining that something had happened in Port Angeles and that I needed somewhere to stay for the night. She had packed an over night bag for me and dropped it off at the chiefs house not half an hour earlier.

"Thanks for this Chief swan, I would really have been alright though."

"Just call me Charlie; it makes me feel too old otherwise."

"OK, Charlie." I said trying it out. Have you spoken to Bella recently?" I asked.

He shook his head and looked a little sad

. "You miss her."

"Well, I was just looking forward to seeing her for a bit longer."

I looked down, feeling my own loneliness a bit more than normal. I wondered what my own family and friends were doing.

"So do you want to tell me what happened in Port Angeles?" Charlie asked. He saw me stiffen at the thought and shake my head.

"Well soon, it looks like you've been through a bit of an ordeal tonight and well when you're ready to talk, I'm here to help. OK?"

"Thanks Charlie." I answered gratefully. Charlie then changed the subject. After a while I pleaded tiredness and Charlie showed me to my room. I went and washed up and changed into the ridiculously revealing nightwear Alice had packed for me, and went and sat on Bella's chair. I couldn't bring myself to sleep in her bed.

I was having a bit of a moral dilemma. I was totally and undeniably in love with Edward, that was the easy part. The thing I wasn't so sure of was that I didn't know exactly what Edward was, not in a human/vampire way but in a delusion/dream way. And then of course there was the guilt.

Although in this reality Edward and Bella didn't have the connection that they had had in the books that I so loved, it still felt like I was almost 2 timing Bella with Edward. That all the things that were going on were in fact the things that should be occurring with Bella and that I was a dangerous intruder.

I walked around Bella's room and tried to see a bit of the person she was, but there weren't really any hints I had no epiphany, it was a 17 year old girls room, no more no less.

I sat thinking about the events that had brought me here and there were things that didn't seem right, things that bothered me It seemed like I was living the story but so many differences and I wondered if I was correct in assuming that the outcome of the books was going to be the way my delusion head played this out, or if I could actually be in real danger here. And if I was in danger what would that mean for my real life body? So many things confused me, I was even acting different to who I thought I actually was. One of the things that was bothering me was actually a passing comment Carlisle had made. I was trying to remember what we had spoken about when I had come round in the hospital my head was so fuzzy at the time. He had said that I was lucky …no broken bones…good job Edward was there…Edward was there!

That was it; The Kalaloche Lodge was on Quileute Land, so what about the treaty? Was their even a treaty? I needed answers and I needed to stop pussy footing around. I closed my eyes resting them, my body bruised and battered and my head even more so. The next thing I knew it was morning.

**A/N would love to know if this is a worthy tale? And please don't hate Mackenzie too much I mean if it was there offered who wouldn't ?**

**Lol**

**I have a couple of outfits for Makenzie I will upload the pictures when I get a chance.**

**Reviews please if your able.**

**Hugs Xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N here's a bit more...**

**I do not own any of this twilight world only the stuff that's from me and makes no sense. All else belongs to S.M**

**I am now un betad so live with it I write it you read it I cant spell…lol**

**There are not enough Twilight words of thanks**

**Hugs**

**Xx**

**Chapter5**

**The trouble within**

I had spoken to Charlie in the morning declining his offer to stay permanently at the house. It would have been so easy to slip into that role and I think we both would have enjoyed the company, but I couldn't bring myself to encroach on any more of Bella's space. He did offer a compromise that I thought would be workable though .A friend of Billy Black, Jacobs's dad, had a small hunting cottage out in the woods off of the main highway. The property backed onto Charlie's house and would mean that we would both be able to have a bit of company if we wished.

"Billy said that his pal won't want much for rent." Charlie informed me. Though I had realized by now that money wasn't an issue here. If I had wanted I could have continued to stay at the Lodge.

"It'll need a bit of fixing up but I can always give you a hand." He finished gruffly.

I instinctively went and hugged him. "Thanks Charlie, this is the best news."

Charlie blushed the colour of fresh tomato's, but puffed out his chest and said his goodbye as he went off to work.

I called the number Charlie had given me and recognized Jacob's voice on the other end.

I was genuinely pleased to hear him and he seemed happy that I was going to take on the cabin. He said that he would let Billy know and get it sorted with his hunting buddy. I agreed that I would meet me there this weekend. I thanked him and we said goodbye. Checking that I had everything in place before I left, I jotted the instructions for the casserole I had left for Charlie to have for his dinner.

'_Dear Charlie,_

_Thanks for everything, I have spoken to Jacob and I am meeting them at the cabin this weekend. You have a casserole for dinner in your slow cooker, just serve!_

_Love Kenzie x__'_

Feeling a bit happier than I had last night I jumped in the truck and went to school. I pulled into the car park and saw Emmett's 4x4 but didn't see Edwards silver Volvo. I looked around for him most of the morning, but he didn't show up. When it got to lunch time and he still wasn't there, my head was about to explode with worry. I decided that I needed to know that he didn't go back out looking for those 3 men last night and the only ones who could tell me where the rest of the Cullen's. Grabbing my usual drink and apple I said hi to the table of my friends as I walked past them. They all clocked the direction I was heading in and as one their heads swiveled round to look.

"Waiting for the carnage no doubt!" I said under my breath.

As I got closer 4 pairs of golden eyes looked at me. Alice and Emmett's were welcoming, Jaspers were a little guarded, and Rosalie's were downright hostile!

"Hi, is anyone sat here?" Nodding my head in the direction of the empty seat. Alice answered quickly before Rosalie could. "Hi, nope be our guest." I flashed a smile at Alice and thanked her for dropping my car and a bag over to the chief's house.

"You're welcome," she said lightly. "I hope you had everything you needed; I didn't see that you would need anything else."

I noticed the slip she had made by saying see, but I didn't mention it. Alice had probably said that on purpose anyway, because it was hard to imagine this perfect little pixie girl making any mistake at all.

"It was great, thanks for doing that for me."

Alice chatted idly for a few minutes, I glanced over to Rosalie and she took the opportunity to speak.

"What do you want?" just like that. No pre-amble, just straight in. I stopped eating my apple and assessed the situation, these weren't school kids and well, they were all too old to play games. Well I wasn't a school kid either!

"Did Edward go back to Port Angeles to kick the shit out of those arseholes?"

Emmett choke laughed, Jaspers eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hairline, Alice smiled and Rosalie just stared. I'm sure Alice was about to launch into some well rehearsed story, but I cut her off.

"Look I realize that you probably don't want me around your brother and that I'm causing him all sorts of problems, I understand all that, but I need to know if he's ok."

Rosalie's voice brought my eyes to her lovely face. "What would you do if I said that we won't tell you? What could you do?"

I thought about her question for a minute before answering "well I could try kicking all your butts but I have a feeling that that won't get me very far. I could scream my head off and cause a scene, but you would probably enjoy the attention!"

Rosalie's eyes became hard as steel.

"Or I could appeal to your better nature and just ask you to tell me because it's the right thing to do and because I really do care about him and I'm really worried incase he does something silly, which none of us wants. And probably most importantly, I'm not going to stop bugging you until I get a fricking answer!"

Alice, Jaspers and Emmett's gaze turned to Rosalie.

Her stare was on me and I could feel its force burning into my skull. I forced my self to continue eating my apple as casually as I could and to make myself look like I was there for the duration. I never let my gaze move from hers though. All of a sudden Rosalie's mouth started to turn up in the faintest hint of a smile. "Your either very brave or very stupid, but I understand what your saying, so no, Edward didn't go after those men, though it took all of Esme's and Carlisle's persuasion. Carlisle took him, away for the day, to do some father son stuff." She finished.

Feeling so relieved I thanked her and picked up my lunch things and said my farewells to all of them.

"We'll see you soon though Kenzie." Alice said. It was a statement, not a question. It left me wondering what she knew that I didn't. Then I thought probably everything.

oOo

The next day I was sick. I hadn't slept well, too much going over in my head. Too many things to worry about with Edward and then too much guilt about Bella and of course my own family and friends. It seemed the longer I was here the more settled into this life I became, but was this life mine? Or was I actually loosing myself? I contemplated what staying here would mean, I wondered if that were the case would I be dead in my old life and if it did mean that, could I bring myself to do that? It would all depend on Edward I was silly to think otherwise. If Edward wished me to stay then I would stay. If he needed me to go then I would go and let things be the way that they were written to be. So when I woke up feeling feverish and weak I wasn't surprised, just annoyed as I had a lot to sort out and each day could be my last there. That thought scared me.

The weekend came and went and far from feeling better I actually felt worse. As was with most nurses I didn't make a good patient so I turned my phone off and medicated myself and tried to sleep off the flu virus. At some point my temperature must have got fairly high because I was sure that I could hear Ruby talking to me, telling me about a dress that she had bought and how she couldn't wait for me to see it.

By Monday I crawled out of bed and got ready for school. I was feeling slightly better but I felt as week as a kitten. My knees were wobbling like a new born foal as I walked to the truck. As I pulled into the school parking lot I felt relieved that I had made it to school safely. I got out the truck and waved perfunctually to Tyler's shouts of "Hi."

I was concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other as I walked across the parking lot. There was a screech of brakes and a shout and something hit me hard, to the floor. I thought that the vehicle must have hit me and was pinning me down as I couldn't move. I realized through my daze that it was Edward. People were around me all talking at once, but the only voice I heard was Edwards "Are you trying to get yourself killed?" He demanded of me. I looked around confused by everyone.

"I'm fine." I assured the circle of people. As I got up gingerly and Edward picked up my bag he told me that he would walk me to my class. Once people were sure that they weren't missing any blood and guts they dispersed quickly to class. I stopped to get my bearings but it felt strange, I couldn't quite remember where I was supposed to be going. Edward was still ranting about my Bronsonesque death wish until he noticed that I was not retaliating in my usual feisty manner. For the first time since he'd dumped me to the ground he looked concerned instead of cross. He lifted my chin with his hand and looked at my face.

"Mackenzie, what's wrong, are you ill?" even in my weakened state I couldn't admit to him that I was poorly, I couldn't show any weakness I couldn't let him see just how pathetically dependant on him I was.

"It's just a cold, ill be ok once I get inside" I murmured. I could feel his hands on my arm and around my shoulder directing me but I had closed my eyes by this time, feeling totally safe now that Edward was there. I felt the strength of Edwards's body as he sat me somewhere and I let out a contented sigh as a familiar blackness enveloped me. This time I welcomed it, I encouraged it, all the things that were wrong here in this reality, were wrong because of me. It was easy really, once I was gone, everything would go back to the way it should be.

"you can be with Bella now, without me being in the way." I said. Before the blackness totally claimed me. I thought I heard someone somewhere beg to not be left, but that was all, the blackness, my old friend welcomed me back and shut out all else.

I was so thirsty, my throat felt like it had had sand poured down it. My lips were dry and as I went to lick them to moisten them, I was horrified to note that my tongue was as dry as my lips were. I opened my eyes fully and groaned at the pain in the back of my head. I attempted to lift my head up and it was then that I noticed where I was and that I wasn't alone. Edward saw me move and jumped to my side "Hello you!" he said quietly.

"Hello you too" I answered him in my thick rusty voice. I pulled myself into a sitting position and made a grab for the water by the side of the bed. Edward got to it before I did and held the cup as I drank from the straw. "Thanks." I croaked out. Edward didn't reply just nodded. "I'm really sorry about that, I don't mean to be a bother." I admitted.

"Don't do that." Edward stated firmly. I looked at him confused. "You apologize for your every move Mackenzie, like your apologizing for being ill, that's just silly."

I had to stop myself for the automatic apology that was about to pass my lips. I looked down at my knotting hands instead. I took in my surroundings properly now, I was back in Bella's bedroom in Charlie's house.

"How'd I get here?" I asked him.

"I brought you; you weren't exactly up to driving!" He told with a wry smile.

"Does Charlie know I'm here?"

"Yes, he suggested it." I nodded my understanding. My eyelids were starting to drop over my eyes again, and Edward made to get up and go. I grabbed for his hand, feeling the comforting coolness of his skin, paying no attention to the way he tried to lightly pull out of my grip, I held onto his hand tightly.

"Please don't go yet. Stay with me a little while?"

He allowed me to hold onto his hand and sat back down besides me. I smiled dreamily as I drifted off to sleep holding Edwards's hand.

I woke again in the early hours of the morning and happily noted Edward still sat there watching me and still holding my hand.

"Why didn't you wake me, you must be so uncomfortable." I whispered.

"I can sit still for a lot longer than this Mackenzie and have no worry about moving." He told me.

"Oh, right OK" I agreed without question.

He chuckled and had a curious look on his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Well just for a girl who searches out answers to so many different things, at times you puzzle me by your easy acceptance of other things that should spike your curiosity!"

"Look, I think we both know that neither of us is exactly in the 'Normal' category. Let's just leave it at that for the moment." I suggested.

Edward agreed but didn't stop looking at me with that slightly weird expression.

As dawn broke Edward said that he needed to go before Charlie came to say goodbye.

"I don't want Charlie to find me here; I don't think he would be too happy!"

"Thanks for staying with me Edward, and for looking after me….Again!"

I felt slightly embarrassed by how I had become so weak and feeble!

"Will you come and see me tonight?" I asked, not wanting to sound as needy as I felt. "Yes Kenzie, I will see you later." He squeezed my hand as a way of parting, but not satisfied I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him with all my strength. He stiffened at first but finally relaxed and hugged me back gently and nuzzled my hair. I was sure I heard him smell my hair! The fragrance that came from him was beyond anything I could describe. It was like everything I liked most in the world all wrapped up in an oratory harmony made just for my senses. My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest and my hands wound themselves into the hair at the nape of Edwards's neck. Reluctantly Edward took hold of my arms and extricated himself gently but firmly from my grasp.

"I'll see you later. Try to rest." He briefly touched his cool lips to my forehead and then left.

My body immediately ached for him; it felt a huge hole where he had been stood moments before.

My forehead was hot where his lips had brushed so feather like, spreading warmth outwards. I sighed and wondered what I was going to do today. After a quick tidy up, which was all I could physically manage, much to my disgust, I decided to read, I sat down to continue reading Jane Eyre. I must have read only a couple of chapters before my eyes closed wearily and I was asleep.

That evening when I had excused myself to Bella's room, I was feeling much better. Still weak, but the raging temperature that had been burning through my body, seemed to have almost gone. I was sat on the bed reading again, when Edward appeared as if out of no where. I looked at him and smiled but didn't mention his instantaneous entrance. This seemed to upset him more than if I had made a big thing out of it.

"Hello Edward."

"Hello Mackenzie!"

"How was school?" I enquired. Putting my book down.

"It was fine, your friends were concerned about you though, even braved asking Alice how you were."

I smiled and nodded, guessing that they chose to ask Alice instead of any of the other Cullen's as she probably seemed the most approachable to them!

"I've brought you some homework so you won't get behind."

"Gee, thanks Edward remind me again why I like you?" I said sarcastically. His rich warm laughter helped to ease the thought of the homework. Knowing I would crawl 15 miles over broken glass just to get hear his laughter again.

"I'll be at school again tomorrow." Not looking at Edward as I didn't want to see the disapproving look that would be there. "Plus," I carried on. "I can't stay in Bella's house any longer. It's really messing with my head."

"What is this fascination with Bella Swan?" Edward asked all curious.

"I'm not fascinated; I just don't like to intrude in her home." _And her heart._

Edward didn't seem satisfied with this and he tried to push the issue.

"No there's more to this, I know there is."

"You seem so sure of so many things Edward. I wonder how you can ever be that sure about anything?" I looked at him knowing that in trying to steer him away from my own confessions I was heading him towards his.

Looking at him I forced a smile. "I'm tired Edward. I think I'll go to bed now." Not asking him to stay, I almost dismissed him as he had done to me the other night.

"See you at school Edward, have a good night." I lay on Bella's bed and faced away from him. It was only a second and I felt the loneliness envelope me, turning quickly to ask him to stay, I faced an empty room. Edward had already left silently.

xXx

I was up and in school early the next morning. I felt stronger than I had in about a week and I wondered how much of that was due to me having a plan of action. I knew what I needed to do. It was the not knowing if I was going to Edward again that made me so tetchy and irritable. I had challenged myself to stay away from him, feeling that we could both do with some breathing space.

I ran into the school office and handed in the work I had been doing that took me at least a month in advance of my course work. I explained that I needed to have some field study time and the letters I had typed on Charlie's old computer looked genuine enough. They didn't really have much to say about it as I was as far as they knew 22 years of age and I had completed that terms work. So they agreed to my short sabbatical.

I ran back out to the car park and jumped into the truck. As I pulled out the lot I caught site of the silver Volvo turning in. I smiled as naturally as I could and waved, but I didn't let my gaze linger on Edwards face. I saw the other Cullen faces looking at me briefly before I was past them and away.

The road out of Forks towards Seattle was like any other mountain highway. It was beautiful and on any other day I would have enjoyed the scenic drive. Not today though. Today I was on a mission. My small bag was packed and I had my purse with all my documents in it. About half an hour into my journey the rain started. The wipers on Bella's truck had to work overtime and still they didn't clear the screen sufficiently. I slowed my speed to allow for better visibility. Cars had started to put on their lights despite the fact that it was only mid morning.

I reached to turn the heater on, and my eyes must have drifted off the road for a second as with a crunching and screeching and scraping of gravel the truck bounced onto the hard shoulder of the road. I righted it ok but it was evident that something wasn't quite right. I stopped, Switching on the hazard lights, jumped out of the cab. The nearside back tire was flat. I looked under the hood where I found a spare. A growl of frustration left my lips as I noted the totally flat side to the punctured spare.

'_Fuck it, why me?'_

I climbed back into the trucks cab and hunted for my phone. The little green bars that told me how my reception was were showing me what I already knew, that I was in the middle of no where with no cell phone coverage any decade soon!

"This can not be happening!" I shouted at the sky as I launched my cell phone across the cab onto the floor. I sat for about 20 minutes watching the rain fall torrentially. In the end I decided to hike it back to the gas station I had passed a little way back. I reasoned that it would probably take me about an hour to walk the 3 miles or so I had calculated it to be.

I grabbed the only jacket that I had with me and pulled my beanie down over my ears. Throwing all the important documents into my shoulder bag, I slung it over my shoulder and climbed out the relative warm and dry of the trucks cab.

I hadn't been walking for 5 minutes and already the front faces of my jeans were wet through. The jacket wasn't offering me any protection and was slicked to my body. As I walked my boots squelched with each step. Rivulets of water were running down my back between my shoulder blades and down my front in the valley between my breasts. With each step my mood got blacker and blacker and I moaned to myself punctuating each squelching footstep with one profanity or another. The rumbles of thunder I heard in the distance did nothing to brighten my mood. I noticed that I hadn't seen any other cars pass me in a long time.

"Probably all too sensible to be out in this weather!"

Eventually I saw the gas station up ahead; the lights were out now though. They had been on as I had passed it earlier. I wondered if it might have a power cut due to the storm, and hoped that their phone still worked. Finally I got to the door, it all looked pretty empty. I was praying that someone was still here and that they hadn't all gone home to sit out the weather. I knocked on the glass door and shouted "Hello. Anyone there?" As I knocked again harder this time the door bumped to, it wasn't locked after all! Feeling like a total idiot I pushed open the door and walked in. There didn't appear to be anyone around.

It was strangely eerie walking through the rows of produce in the dim light. I made my way to the rear of the shop where the counter was. Still no sign of anyone. I saw the phone and breathed a sigh of relief as I sped the last steps to reach it. As I picked up the receiver the dial tone made me let out an audible "Yes!" at least that was working, my luck must be changing. I wondered who I should call and surprised my self by dialing Jakes number. It rang twice before his voice answered. "Sup?"

"Hi Jake, its Kenzie," relief flooding my tone. "Sorry to bother you but I need your help."

"Hey Kenze, what trouble you got into now?" he asked only half jokingly.

I was about to give him a telling off when I heard a noise from behind the counter.

Ignoring Jakes continued assassination of my good character I looked around sharply before peeking over the service counter. I couldn't see anything from there so I needed to go around.

"Jake, wait a second, something's not right here, I've got to put the phone on the counter for a second, and I'll be back in a bit."

"Ok." Jake said sensing my unease.

Checking over my shoulder as I went, I poked my head round the corner of the service hatch. I couldn't see anything so took a step inside. There it was again, the sound was like someone moaning in pain. It was a sound I had heard many times in my career and my body went onto automatic pilot. I marched forwards to where the sound was coming from. Just at the doorway to what looked like a stock room I saw the ankle and foot of someone laid out on the floor. Grabbing the phone up again. I said "Jake there's been an accident, someone's hurt I need you to call an ambulance for me."

"Ok fine where are you?" He asked worry in his tone.

"Im not sure…but im on the main highway in a gas station…" "Jake, Jake can you hear me?"

"Kenze, Kenzie where are you? Say it again; I didn't hear what you said... Kenze, Mackenzie…"

"Jake, Jacob?" Nothing the phone had gone dead.

I hung up the phone quickly and went to the person on the floor. Without touching them, I tried to see if I could tell what had happened. There was a huge lump on the temple of the middle aged mans head that was turning a vivid dark purple and there was a small pool of blood that could possibly be coming from his ears. He looked pale and only like he was this side of alive.

As I fell to my knees I saw the wound in his neck and collar area properly. It was close to the carotid artery but luckily had missed by a fraction; otherwise he would have been dead already. I jumped up and ran down the aisles of the shop trying to find medical supplies. I found some travel first aid boxes and grabbed as many as I could and ran back to him. He was wearing a store badge which happily announced he was _Jim_ and he was _Happy to Help!_

Wadding up some of the dressings I pushed them hard into the wound, there was no way I could get enough leverage for pressure so I had to manually apply the pressure needed to stem the flow of the blood. I was talking to the semi-conscious man, telling him that help was on its way. The mans eyes flickered open briefly and a look of horror was in them that frightened me. His pulse was growing weaker and I knew if he didn't get blood soon he would die. Trying to think what I could use to transfuse him myself and of course coming up with nothing, I was praying that Jake had heard me though I hadn't heard him.

Only a couple of minutes later the mans pulse had almost stopped. I sat amidst the bloodied surgical dressings and could not understand how this man could be dying like this. He must have sustained some severe internal injuries because the blood that he had lost wasn't enough for him to have lost his hold on life so quickly. Feeling totally dejected and useless I sat and took his hand in my own. I wanted him to know that he wasn't alone, and that someone was with him, and that I may be a stranger but I fought for his life as I would fight for my own. As the last breath left him a single tear rolled down my cheek, falling onto his fingers. I saw a wedding ring and I wondered if he had children, and who would tell his wife and family that their loved one wouldn't be coming home.

"Well that was almost as good as getting to drain him!" said a deadly musical voice from behind me. I jumped round quickly, my eyes widening in fear.

'_Click'_

The wound in the mans neck, the lack of blood, it all made sickening sense now. These vampires' eyes were not the beautiful golden amber of Edwards's family, they glowed scarlet. I was in real trouble this time.

The vampire that was stood in front of me was curiously androgynous. I couldn't tell if they were male or female. Though they had the flawless beauty I would expect from a vampire, they held none of the appeal and beauty and grace that any of the Cullen's had.

My every instinct was screaming at me to flee, to run away and hide.

The vampire casually walked closer to me. Seeming to enjoy the minute changes my body went through the more scared I got. I moved every time the vampire took a step, trying to keep the counter between us, knowing in actuality that that would be no barrier or deterrent for this animal.

"Mmm, you smell good, I'm going to enjoy you." The look of hunger intensifying in the blood red eyes.

Trying not to take my eyes off of my attacker, I took another step towards the stock room door hoping that the iron panic room would be a suitable fire break to allow me to get another call out to someone, anyone.

The vampire was still talking it up, obviously a fan of the drama! "How unfortunate for you to drop in here right when I was feeding. It's been such slim pickings recently, none of them smelt as good as you!

I was nearly at the stock room doors when in a single breath the vampire was upon me. I felt its body pushed hard against me and knew finally that I was dealing with a male. If a very feminine one at that.

"So im guessing that your going to make a big song and dance out of this?" I brazened.

"Coz I bet you were a real pain in the arse when you were human." The vampire's eyes became frosty even with the blood blazing through them.

There was no way I could physically fight this animal, I had to think of another way. If I was going to die here, I was going to make sure that at the very least I was the most unpleasant meal that monster would ever have.

"What's up sugar? Can't find a mate? Must be lonely wandering alone like you do?" I said conversationally.

"Still I'm sure the Volturi won't mind if I don't turn up for work after my vacation."

A look of concern flittered across that flawless face. I was gambling hugely that this vamp knew what I was talking about and it hinged on there being the Volturi here, in this reality. Judging by the none too confident look on the vampires face I was guessing that they probably did exist here.

I silently thanked all things holy and pushed on.

"What did you say your name was?"

"I didn't, say me name." the vampire told me in a hiss.

"Only I was going to write this down, you know so that you and I could be remembered. You never know they may write a book about you one day."

"My name is Isaac." He replied grandly. Enjoying the spotlight moment despite himself.

"Well Isaac, if I was going to go I'm glad it was by you." Isaac puffed out his non existent chest.

"Because Aro had me earmarked, but between you and me, he had such bad breath."

Again the mention of Aro and the Volturi halted Isaac. I could see different emotions related to his differing options flash across his face. Did he want to risk going against the Volturi directly, was I worth it?

In the end a look of resignation crossed his face.

"What do the likes of Aro and his underling have to do with me? I answer to no one. I will be long gone by the time someone finds you."

He held me solidly. This time all the talking and fighting had gone from me.

"I see your not so chatty now are you bitch?" His fingers gauged deep nail marks into my arms.

"I hope I fucking poison you, you son of a bitch!" I screamed in his face. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he moved in to bite. I closed my eyes and said sorry to all the people I loved and was leaving. I felt his breath as he opened his mouth. I was going to die.

xXx

I waited for the pain to come, but it didn't. I opened my eyes and saw Isaac hovering, mouth open over my neck. His eyes had a far away look in them, like he was listening for something. Finally content that everything was ok his attention returned to me. He relaxed and once again prepared to drain me.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N here's a bit more...**

**I do not own any of this twilight world only the stuff that's from me and makes no sense. All else belongs to S.M**

**I am now un betad so live with it I write it you read it I cant spell…lol**

**There are not enough Twilight words of thanks**

**Hugs**

**Xx**

**Chapter 6**

**This wasn't in the book!**

The sound that Isaac made as he hit the floor was deafening. I was frozen to the spot bodies appeared to come from out of no where. Alice was stood in front of me.

"Mackenzie, we need to leave now. Kenzie please, we have to go..." she begged urgently.

"Alice, get her out of here." Edward ordered. I looked up realizing what was happening. Edward had tackled Isaac to the floor and Emmett was now holding the red eyed vampire along with Edward. The look of anger on Edwards face scared me but thrilled me as well. Alice took my hand and dragged me out of the store. I could hear shouts and screams from inside and fear for Edward and Emmett made me try to return. "Mackenzie if I don't get you out of here right now I am going to be in so much trouble, now I don't want to hurt you but WE HAVE TO GO!"

This sounded so ridiculous coming from the tiny girl who was barely up to my shoulder, but I knew not to underestimate her and finally got into Rosalie's car. Jasper was driving and didn't say anything as I got in the back seat. Alice got in beside Jasper and we set off away from the gas station at a frightening pace. I kept looking back, worry for Edward and the Emmett all over my face.

"They're going to be ok Mackenzie, you don't need to worry." Alice said correctly reading my face. I nodded, but didn't say anything.

Jasper drove me back to the truck and I got out of Rosalie's car and got back into the familiar cab.

When Alice went to get in the cab with me I rudely asked to be left on my own.

"We're in the car behind you if you need us." She said ignoring the slight and smiled at me as she laid a gentle hand on my arm before she went back to the other car and Jasper. It was perhaps half an hour later when I heard the deep rumble of Emmett's 4x4. I heard car doors opening and closing and eventually the cab passenger door opened and Edward jumped in gracefully. Before he was sat properly I had propelled myself at him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. Clinging to him like he was my life raft, not ever wanting to let go. "Are you all ok?" I demanded still not relinquishing my hold.

"We're all fine Kenzie; everyone is on their way home."

"Good!" I said still trying to press myself into Edward.

"We're going to need to get you some new tires for the truck but I will sort that for you later. For now I will take you home in my car."

I grabbed what I needed and got out the truck. Edward looked briefly at my overnight suitcase, but didn't mention it. And 5 minutes later we were on the road heading back towards Forks.

Before we got into town Edward pulled into a lay by and turned off the engine. I sat looking at him, wondering why we had stopped but not wanting to speak first.

"Don't you want to ask me?" Edward almost snapped out after a while.

"Ask you what?" looking to him confused.

"Oh Mackenzie, I would have thought you would have a thousand questions!"

"No not really."

Edward looked unconvinced.

"Well actually there is one question." I said looking straight into his heart stopping eyes.

"I thought that there would be." He stiffened his shoulders, looking like he was preparing to go to war. "What did you want to know Mackenzie?" He asked me sadly, but with a resigned expression.

"What took you so long?" I blurted out, not able to hide the catch in my voice.

"What took me so long? You want to know what took me so long?" he almost chortled!

"That's what I said. I thought I was toast for a second there."

The look of total disbelief hung on his face for seconds

"Can you tell me what happened to you first, can you tell me exactly as it happened?" Edward tried again. I could see that he was gathering information of how much I had witnessed before he told me anything that was unnecessary for him to tell me.

"Ok." I allowed. I spent the next 10 minutes explaining how I had got a flat tire and how I had stopped. I couldn't hide my anger at the phone or my disgruntled expression at having to walk through the pouring rain. I didn't say anything about why I was on the road to Seattle or why I had a case with me. I told him about how I had found Jim and how I had tried to save him but despite my efforts he had died. Edward looked like he was going to ask me his own question on that matter, but decided against it and I carried on. I then explained that was when Isaac had jumped me.

"Shit! I phoned Jake for help I think Isaac cut the phone wire on me. I'd better call him and let him know im ok."

Edward looked a bit sulky but agreed passing me his own phone. I called Jake, sketching over what had happened and I assured him I was ok, I hung up promising to visit him tomorrow.

"You really are a full time responsibility." He said not angrily.

"Edward I'm not your responsibility, I can make my own mistakes without any help at all. Half the time I don't know if you're running from me or towards me. You tell me one thing and then act in the totally opposite way. You shrink away when I touch you, yet you seek to protect me. I'll admit it, I really don't know where I am with you. So my apologies for being a pain in the arse"

He took my hand in his own. The coolness of his skin igniting the paradox of flames on mine. "I feel very protective of you, I get very…anxious when I don't know where you are and if your safe or not." He looked into my eyes and begged with my soul not to push the point.

"So how did you find me Edward?"

He looked from my eyes out the window and back to my gaze.

Edward was trying desperately to find a way of explaining what had just happened and in the end I couldn't bare to watch him struggle.

"Look Edward, let's cut the bullshit shall we?" His eyebrows rose up in surprise and a flash of uncertainty crossed his beautiful features.

"I know what Isaac was. Does that help?"

Edwards's eyes opened wider warily. "And what exactly was that?" He had picked up on my usage of the past tense.

"He wanted to drain my blood Edward; he had drained most of Jims already. He would have finished the job if I hadn't come along and interrupted him."

My casual acceptance of this baffled and even angered him. He was struggling to find words. "Doesn't this knowledge freak you out?" he asked. Not finding a better way of putting it I guessed.

"Someone really smart once told me that it's not what we are that matters, its what we do that shapes us. I really believe that Edward. It's those choices that we make every day that make us into the people we are."

"I know what you are Edward and I know what all your family are."

The look of total shattering despair on Edwards face nearly broke my heart. Not releasing his hand, "I know what you and your family are," I repeated. "You are good, kind, decent people, nothing else matters."

_If you weren't I couldn't have possibly fallen in love with you. I said to myself._

I brought his hands to my lips and kissed them gently, savoring the smell and the taste and the feel of him.

His incredulous look made my breath catch in my throat.

I loved him, I loved Edward Cullen and I didn't know how long I would get to be with him but for now that was enough.

Edward eventually found his voice." You don't know what you're saying; you don't know what I've done in the past." He still seemed stuck in the thought that I hadn't fully grasped what he was.

"Edward I get it, but that has absolutely no bearing on how I feel about you."

He gasped, shocked at the throw away nature of my last statement. For many minutes he stared into my eyes trying to read something in them. Eventually in defeat; "You don't know what you're saying."

"I know exactly what I'm saying Edward and I know that you and your family wouldn't hurt anyone, let alone me. I know what you are and I know what I'm saying and you had better get used to it because frankly im too tired to keep fighting."

'_Click'_

That's why things had been so off! I was just fighting the wrong things all the time, that's why I was having such bad luck here. At least that was my theory.

I wrapped my hands around Edwards's strong shoulders and gently placed my lips towards him. "I'm going to kiss you Edward so be warned, do what you have to do, I just want you to know. It doesn't matter that you don't feel the same as me, but I can live with that."

I placed my mouth over his, his breath sweet and his lips so cool; it was the most gentle, most innocent, most emotion fuelled of kisses I had ever experienced. I sighed into his mouth and pulled away before my raging need over rode my wish to be sensible for Edward.

A look of total bewilderment was on his face, but the worry frown that had seemed to almost always be present had gone.

We drove the rest of the way to Charlie's house in silence. I didn't take my eyes from his face.

For what seemed a lifetime we sat just looking at each other. Eventually Edward asked. "You do know what your saying don't you? You realize what you're getting mixed up with?"

"Yes Edward I know, now if it's ok with you I need to go to bed. I got out the car and shut the door without another word and made my way inside.

I ripped up the note I had left for Charlie earlier on in the day and scribbled another quick note saying I was tired and that I was going to bed and that I would see him in the morning. Edward hadn't followed me indoors but I wasn't surprised to see him sat on the bed as I entered the bedroom.

"You could have used the front door this time Edward!" nodding towards the door.

"Force of habit." He said a bit distracted. I told Edward to wait and I went across the hall into Charlie's bathroom. I stripped off the clothes that were stained with Jim's blood and ran quickly downstairs and put them in the washer before Charlie could see them. Running back upstairs I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, looking at the dark circles that were evident under my own grey eyes. So much had happened and so much I couldn't explain. I pulled the plug out of the basin watching the water swirl its way down the drain, raising my eyes to the mirror again I saw Edward stood in the doorway of Bella's bedroom staring at my near naked form.

'_shit. I always forget to shut the bathroom door!'_

Stood there with my back to Edward in only my knickers and bra, I may have well been naked. His eyes seared across every inch of my body. I didn't really have any body issues I was what I was, but I had never been examined and looked at in the way that Edward now looked at me. I was sure with his keen vampire eyes he was able to see my very pores and every imperfection in my skin. I turned to face him brazenly, and looked directly into his eyes trying to ignore the hunger that was very evident there. This time I knew that my own hunger was a match for his, my appetite was not for food but for Him. My breath caught in my throat and made my chest heave as I took in a shuddering breath. Edwards's eyes moved to my breasts and the swell of them over the edge of my bra. I followed Edwards gaze down and was horrified to note I had on a pair of men's boxers

'_Fuck there goes my seductress image'_

Feeling for the first time uncomfortable I turned away, back to the mirror, in the fraction of a second it took for me to do this Edward appeared directly behind me. He was stood so close that I could feel the electricity jump from my body to his and back again. I looked at him in the mirror with his head slightly bowed staring at the pulse that was thrumming in my neck. Almost sensing my gaze he looked up into the mirror and saw me staring at him. Every cell in my body wanted to melt itself into Edward, his body was as close as anyone would get without there being any physical contact what so ever. His eyes were half closed but they sparkled with the golden flecks that I had noticed before.

He inhaled along the side of my head and I watched in fascination as the tip of his tongue came from the shelter of his divine mouth and lapped at his lips. As close as I was I saw the moisture trail left by the exquisite movement.

I moaned ever so gently, my own tongue mirroring his movements and licking my bottom lip. My heart was pounding a rhythm that reverberated through my chest down through my diaphragm and hit my pelvis with repetitive thumps, making my knees become severely in danger of collapsing. My body had started to sway now and I knew that I was in serious sensory overload. I took another shuddering breath and several strands of my hair fell over my eyes. Edward looked at the hair like it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen, he raised a long beautiful hand to tuck the wayward strand out of the way as I had wanted to do to him on so many occasions. His hand grazed the tip of my left nipple fractionally, like a feather falling.

The shock wave of sensations that erupted from that accidental touch nearly brought me to my knees. I staggered, falling back towards Edward. Instinctively he put out his arms to catch me and as soon as his arms were around me and his hands were on me I could no more stop than I could stop myself from breathing. I twisted about in his arms facing him again. My arms remained at my sides but I lifted my chin and placed my lips on his. There was no hesitation this time from Edward and I exulted in the feel of his kiss deepening as he pushed my lips apart with his tongue. I let out a gasp into his mouth as a cool hand was placed on my back pulling me into him, the electric shocks as each pore met his body sent me spinning in a new round of sensation. His hand moved down my back, eliciting another audible gasp.

I thrust my pelvis forwards and was met by the extraordinary size and hardness of Edwards's arousal. My hand moved of its own accord wanting to envelope his erection. As I made contact with him it was Edwards turn to moan! My fingers ran along the feel of the shaft through Edwards jeans. He was from a different era but I knew that he was not an island and he was no novice in what he did to me with that kiss.

The sound of him talking was deliciously musical, the sound of him moaning in sexual pleasure almost sent me over the edge, my knees buckled and I almost ended up in a heap at his feet. I wanted to be nearer to him I wanted to have him fill me, I didn't want to be a separate entity from him any longer, my need was about to overtake me, kissing Edward my tongue dancing across the edges of his own tongue, I was lost, I was reborn I was nothing without him, no person had the right to feel what I was feeling, but I wanted more, my hand reached into the waistband of his jeans and traced a line across his cool skin, his breaths were coming in short sharp gasps, almost animal in their nature, I looked up into Edwards eyes with all the love I could show and undid his jeans button…

"NO" he pushed away from me and I found myself almost falling again, but alone in the bathroom, whilst Edward was facing me like I was the enemy, from the window in Bella's bedroom. Edwards's eyes were hooded and dark, and his breaths rasping as he stared at me his hands gripping onto the window sill as his body still arched forwards towards me. My own breaths were raking my chest, confusion and loss and arousal and dejection were all flying around my body, I didn't know what feeling to deal with first. I tried to slow my breathing so that I could at least look like I was in control, but what I really wanted to do was run over to Edward and surrender myself to him totally.

"Mackenzie," he said in a hoarse voice. "I have to keep in control; I can never let myself go around you, not even for a second."

"Its ok I understand, I'm sorry I don't have the will or control that you do, you obviously find it easier to resist me than I do you. I'm sorry for being so selfish again Edward."

I turned away, back to the bathroom mirror and as I did, like a spoilt petulant rejected child, I kicked the door closed.

'_I'm a total bitch!'_

**A/N would love to know if this is a worthy tale? I found this chapter really difficult to write I would love to know if I am going in the right direction ? was wondering if I need an EPOV in here?**

**Reviews please **

**Hugs Xx**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N here's a bit more...**

**I do not own any of this twilight world only the stuff that's from me and makes no sense. All else belongs to S.M**

**I am now un betad so live with it I write it you read it I cant spell…lol**

**There are not enough Twilight words of thanks**

**Hugs**

**Xx**

**Chapter 7**

**This may sound crazy…**

I woke from my totally restless night feeling uncertain of any future action. I had waited in the bathroom, after Edwards's rejection of me, for what seemed like hours until I heard Charlie come home. I had shouted down to him and he had come upstairs as I knew he would. Successfully stopping any chance of Edward staying around to talk to me.

I asked about his day and we chatted easily. I explained to him that I would need to go and retrieve Bella's truck and would arrange it in the morning. I let Charlie know that I was going to meet Jake and Billy the next day and Charlie said that he would run me over there as he wanted to see Billy about something. I had stayed up watching football with Charlie until late, happy that he was a man of few words and didn't expect or want me to talk to him all the time

. The rest of my night had been spent securing the window in the bedroom tightly, shutting the curtains and making sure that I had the bedroom door wide open so that any sound would be heard by Charlie.

I had slept fitfully, images of Edward and all the Cullen's were flitting through my sub-conscious. The disturbing thing was that what ever decision I made in my dream, they always ended in some terrible way for Edward or one of the other Cullen's or even all of them. It was me who usually caused this by pushing Edward to continue on this road with me, him getting pushed too far by my constant attempts to be with him or seduce him and ending up always with him draining my blood. I wouldn't wake up in horror at this, I knew I deserved the gory end, what would wake me terrified was the sight of Edward being torched by robed and hooded figures, his body surrounded by flames, or Edward being ripped to shreds by a pack of huge angry wolves, tearing him apart and his beautiful face ripped beyond recognition, but not before he was forced to witness this happening to his whole family. So when I had eventually woken up it had been a blessed relief.

I knew that I wasn't strong enough to stay close to Edward without wanting to see him, talk to him and to touch him. My body and soul was drawn to him in an inexplicable and destructive way. For both our sakes I needed to find a way home. No matter what the cost to me personally.

Charlie gave me a lift to Billy's and I jumped out the car as I saw Jake by the garage. He looked up as I approached not able to hide the look of concern behind his eyes.

"Everything ok Kenze?" He asked me in a casual way. Though I understood that this was more than just a casual greeting.

"I'm fine Jake, thanks for asking." Smiling at him hoping he saw my gratitude.

"Mackenzie, so you want to use the cabin?" Billy asked coming forwards with Charlie helping him across the bumps in his chair.

"Erm, if it's ok with your friend Billy, I would love to take it on." I agreed happily.

"Well Jakes already told you he's agreed, so I guess these are yours." He said smiling and handing me over a set of very old fashioned keys.

"Thank you Billy I really appreciate you sorting this for me." I grabbed him in a hug and his face coloured but he smiled.

"You going to come in for a bit before you go?" Billy asked me.

I looked towards Jake and he nodded fractionally. "I would love to see what Jakes up to! I'm a bit of a petrol head!"

Charlie said "I'll shout you when im going, I wont stay long."

"Thanks Charlie, I'm in no rush." I turned and followed Jake back to the garage.

Confined in the small space of the garage Jake seemed even bigger than he had before when he had been to see me at the Lodge.

Before I had even got the door closed properly. "So what happened?"

Without answering his question, "I'm sorry if I worried you Jake"

"That doesn't answer my question!" The need to be honest with Jake was at war with my need to protect Edward and his family. Edward won.

"Bella's truck broke down, and I had to walk back to a gas station. Someone had got hurt."

For a second Jake looked like he would make something of this, and then he seemed to change his mind and accepted my explanation.

We spent the next hour just chatting and catching up, Jake offered help to do the cabin up and I offered to feed him in return!

Jake was so easy to be around, he had such a happy attitude to everything, that you couldn't be anything but enthusiastic around him. I liked him, and I felt that he would be someone I would be able to depend on.

When it was time to leave Charlie shouted me from the drive.

I hopped down from the work bench and hugged Jake and said I would see him at the cabin at the weekend.

His huge arms wrapped around me, not seeming at all embarrassed that he was bare chested as he took the liberty of nuzzling into my neck and risked a kiss!

"Oi!" I yelped, as I pulled away, jabbing him in his perfect ribs.

"See ya Kenze!" He said laughing.

"See you Jake!" I replied, not able to hide the humour in my voice.

In Charlie's Car I chatted madly about the cabin and what I would do with it, how I would decorate it and what I would cook for Charlie, Jake and Billy when they came for a house warming meal.

Charlie stayed quiet and just made encouraging murmurs every now and then.

I glanced sheepishly towards him, but he was looking ahead and had a slight smile touching the corners of his mouth, so I continued my excited babble until we got back to Charlie's house.

As we pulled into the drive Bella's truck was there with new tires. I made a mental note to send a thank you note to the Cullen's and then unable to resist, I ran ahead of Charlie towards the track that would lead me to the cabin, which was to be my new home.

Although I hadn't seen it before I knew that it would be perfect for me.

I broke through the trees into a slight clearing, and set off to the left hand side of the meadow, was the quaintest little cabin I could have imagined.

As I got closer to it I realized that it wasn't as small as it had first appeared and would easily have been big enough for a family. The dirt road that led to it was slightly obscured by the trees, but I could hear the traffic on the road that would take me into town if I didn't want to cut out by Charlie's place.

The old key slipped into the door easily and the door swung open with a creak, showing its lack of recent use.

An orange coloured light filtered through the windows, and showed off the array of dancing dust particles that had been disturbed by my entrance.

The mismatched furniture was worn and loved and it looked like Billy had someone in here recently clearing things in readiness for me, as there were fresh flowers in vases on the table in the kitchen and the lounge.

There was a gentle hum from the gargantuan fridge in the kitchen. I walked around touching all the surfaces as I went. It was a way for me to feel the cabin and I relished in its warm glow.

Charlie's knock on the opened door sprang me back to reality, I skipped over and opened the door wider and pulled him in. I couldn't disguise my pleasure and Charlie said as much, "It's ok for you then?" He said with the faintest of grins reaching his eyes.

"It's Perfect!" I stated resolutely.

"Are you sure you're going to be ok out here on your own?" He asked doubtfully.

"I'll be fine," I reassured, "anyway, if I shouted, you could probably hear me from your house! Plus I have my phone and I promise I will call if im worried about anything."

I reminded Charlie that I had my own house back in England and he admitted that he just found it hard to think of me older than Bella, though I obviously was.

Charlie helped me move my stuff over from the lodge, and despite his attempts to get me to stay at his house for one more night, I cried off and said I just wanted to sit in the cabin and get myself settled. So after we had had dinner Charlie walked me to the meadows edge and said goodnight.

I hugged him and thanked him for all the help.

He quickly passed it off with a wave of his hand and a call of…"See you tomorrow Kenze!"

I watched Charlie disappear back through the trees and watched as I caught site of a light being switched on in his house.

Feeling suddenly very tired I went in and put the water heater on as Charlie had shown me.

I sat down on one of the big gingham sofas and looked around; a deep sigh escaped me as I relaxed for the first time in what seemed like months. I was so comfortable that I didn't try to stop my heavy eyelids shutting down over my eyes.

Black!

"…Keep talking to her Ruby, that's what will bring her around, hearing someone who is familiar…"

My eyes shot open and for the briefest second I wondered where I was, I expected to find Ruby sat next to me, then I recognized the cabins interior and let out a small disappointed breath.

It had gotten cold and I was too tired so I grabbed the quilt from the bed and wrapped it around myself as I sat waiting for the dawn. My mind drifted back to the gas station and Isaac, and a flash of pity hit me when I thought what Edward and Emmett would have done to him, but this only lasted a fraction of a second. As with all things Edward, my mind screamed at me for putting him in any danger and not only him but his family as well.

I couldn't understand why fate was turning me into this troublesome person, I had always been so self reliant and capable, now I wondered if I could tie my shoes without some sort of catastrophe?

I spent the Sunday getting my new home how I wanted it, I had a couple of visits from Charlie and Jake also gave me a call to check that everything was ok. It felt good to have my mind fixed on something ordinary and mundane, and I took great pleasure in the simple task of cleaning house!

I didn't hear anything from Edward.

I made dinner for me and Charlie and we had spent the evening, with me catching up on some reading and he sat watching the television.

It was getting quite late when Charlie looked at his watch and saw the time.

"Geez Kenze! I'm sorry I didn't realize I had been here so long, I better be on my way."

He said as he gathered up his coat.

"No worries Charlie, it's good to have the company," I assured him.

I watched Charlie's light go on and then shut the door. I was surprised I wasn't more worried about being in the woods on my own, but I felt some how safe in the cabin, like nothing would be able to get me.

I tidied around and switched off the T.V and the lights as I made my way to the bedroom. I glanced out the open curtain into the meadow, the trees and meadow grass had taken on a silvery sheen with the moon glow. It was as I was about to close the curtains fully, that my eyes saw something flit through the tree line. I stuck my nose up close to the window trying to get a better look at whatever was staying conveniently out of full view.

My first hopeful thought was that it was Edward coming to see me at last. Then as quickly as that happy thought hit me, then it left twice as quickly, as I felt sure that I had burned all bridges where Edward was concerned.

.

I looked around the dark cabin trying to find my cell phone. I finally spotted it on the kitchen table, making a dash for it, I grabbed it and found Jakes number. As it dialed I ran to the kitchen and picked up the heaviest cooking pan I could find and went back to my window. Feeling somewhat ridiculous brandishing my kitchenware I looked back out to the silvery tree line not sure if I was hoping to see something again or not.

As hard as I might I didn't see anything, or hear anything that sounded like it shouldn't be there. My heart beat started to return to its normal rhythm and I was berating myself for again over reacting when I definitely heard something just outside the cabin.

The shriek that came from my mouth, didn't even sound like my own voice. I squared my shoulders bracing myself for an attack.

As the door exploded inwards I swung with all my strength, acting purely on instinct. I heard the contact of the pot against something hard and heard the thud as the huge shadowy form hit the floor. Taking the advantage I moved in to deliver another blow before the shadowy form had a chance to regain their feet, when a familiar sounding moan stopped me in my tracks.

"Kenze, what are you doing? It's me, Jake; I heard you scream, what are you trying to do? Kill me?"

"Oh my God Jake, are you ok?" I gasped falling to his side on the floor.

"Yeah im fine!" He said more good naturedly than I deserved.

I helped him up and found the switch to the lights. Jake looked sheepishly at the door that was now on the floor. I told him not to worry we could sort it out later and that I was more concerned with checking his head. He tried to pass me off but I insisted in taking a look. He eventually lowered his hand from his head to let me examine his wound.

I ran my experienced eye and hands over his head and apart from a small fading red mark there was no evidence of the huge hit I had made to his forehead. I was of course almost expecting this but from Jakes point of view I was going to need some plausible explanation.

"Look I know this may sound crazy," he started. "But I have this genetic thing going on… it makes my skull twice as thick as everyone else's…"

"Yeah," I agreed, "I think I heard of it!"

Jake looked please and relieved that he thought his deception had worked.

"Yeah where the person gets massive bone growth, really quickly…"

Jake was nodding eagerly.

"…Or it could be that you have that other genetic disorder…"

Jake waited for me to finish with a genuinely curious look on his face.

"..You know...like being a wolf and all!" I finished triumphantly.

The look on Jakes face switched from amazement, to chagrin, to being just plain pissed. He eventually managed to splutter out, "Don't be stupid Kenze, there's no such thing, you've been reading way too many books."

"Look Jake you don't need to explain I know all about you and the pack."

"You know about the pack too?" He choked out.

"Look to save time Jake, just believe me when I say that I know everything!"

He still looked suspicious, but as a testament to his good nature he just said, "OK, well before we go any further let me fix your door and then we can talk!"

I nodded to him and the next half hour I spent watching Jake put his natural skills to work as he fixed my front door back expertly.

We chatted little, and when we did, we carefully avoided the subject of myths and legends.

At last the door was back in place and Jake was deposited on the sofa with a drink in hand.

"Ok Mackenzie, I think you better tell me how you seem to know so much about my err…little quirk! And don't say you just guessed, it's not the sort of thing anyone just guesses…ever!"

I sat for a few seconds contemplating my answer before I spoke. I desperately needed a friend here and I needed to have someone I could confide in, so I took a deep breath and started…

"This 'Will' sound crazy, but I'm hoping that you're going to be good with crazy…"

I was babbling, trying to find a way of saying the un-sayable.

"Spit it out Mackenzie." Jacob said a bit too abruptly. Taking a final deep breath I started to explain how I had come to be so aware of what was going on.

"Look whether you believe me or not is irrelevant, but I have seen what is going to happen, at least what could happen, one possible outcome and because of it I have found out about you and the Quileute clan and the fact that you turn into wolves if the need arises and that Edward and his family are vampires and they are the reason that you have all started changing." I said the last part very fast!

Jakes expression soured at the mention of Edward.

"And you're ok with this?" He asked in disbelief.

I didn't answer him but continued, "I do know that there is a real danger to everyone in Forks and around the area. But I can assure you it doesn't come from the Cullen's."

Jacobs's personal feelings were at war right there on his face.

"So you're some kind of psychic then?" He asked with a sceptical tone in his voice.

"Please Jacob, just listen, I know about Sam and what happened with Leah and Emily, how could someone from England possibly know these things Jake unless what I was saying was the truth?"

His struggle was again evident on his face and then all of a sudden it relaxed.

"Actually," he announced, "I'm glad you know, this makes things a lot simpler. Though I'm not sure I'm happy that you seem so accepting of the bloodsucker and his family!"

"Be nice!" I chided him, glad that we were friends again.

"Plus if what you say is true, you may be able to help us with the encroaching vamp problem we've got?" He said, a glint in his eye showing his enthusiasm.

"Maybe," I answered sketchily, "I know what the events should be, but there is always an element of choice which I can't factor in." I answered a little doubtfully. I wasn't prepared to put someone's life on the line because I had read a book a few times!

I wondered if Alice with her gift had the same sort of concerns I was harbouring. This thought quickly vanished as I felt sure that Alice would probably be sure about all her decisions to act or not.

I managed to steer the conversation away from all the horrors that seemed to move freely in Forks and we talked about mundane and more common things.

I don't know when it had happened but at sometime during the night I had fallen asleep, I woke abruptly to find that the reason I had been so un-comfortably hot was that both Jacob and I were laying on the sofa and he had one huge arm behind my neck, the other thrown over my chest, the sheer weight of his muscled forearm making it uncomfortable to breath properly and the heat that radiated off of Jakes body made it feel like I was laying on an electric blanket.

"Jake," I whispered to him, not wanting to startle him.

"Jacob, wake up, you're squashing me!" I said a little louder this time.

Finally the jab in the ribs woke him enough that he opened his eyelids sleepily and smiled.

"Morning Kenze!" He said with a sleepy voice.

"You're a much prettier sight to wake up to than Billy!" He said with a smug little smile on his face. Rather than releasing me, he tightened his arms around me.

"Mm, I could get used to this!" He said as he flashed his pearly white smile at me.

Feeling like a trapped rabbit I managed to wriggle my way out of his hold and jumped to the middle of the room!

_Ok he's gorgeous but BOY! He was still only 17! Anyway I had eyes for only one!_

The grin he had on his face definitely had a wolfish feel about it.

Jacob got up and said somewhat reluctantly that he should go. I hugged him and thanked him and said I would call him soon. I also assured him that should I get any of my 'mojo' about anything that was going to happen then I would call him straight away.

I hugged him again and watched as he ran off into the trees, his beautifully formed naked torso disappearing in a second.

When I was back indoors I searched for some notepaper and a pen and then I started to frantically note down as close as I could remember the events and the timeline of everything that had and should happen in my beloved books.

As I wrote I became more aware of the differences from my '_delusion_' to the books. Whole events seemed to have been spun on their heads and some hadn't even occurred. Others, like Isaac, were not in the books and it got me to thinking that perhaps I had more to do with the events that took place than what I had thought of at first.

Once I had most of the major book events scribbled on my note paper, I set about writing the events as they had appeared to me. I was shocked to see the similarities and the comparisons. The thing that slapped me in the face more than anything was that I didn't seem to be acting as I would normally! It seemed that the old self reliant, feisty and strong willed person I was, seemed to be turning into a very different weak willed and frightened person and the longer I stayed here, where ever here was, the less of me there was going to be left to go back to.

**A/N would love to know if this is a worthy tale? And please don't hate Mackenzie too much I mean if it was there offered who wouldn't ?**

**Lol**

**Reviews please if your able.**

**Hugs Xx**


	8. Chapter 8

**I do not own any of this twilight world only the stuff that's from me and makes no sense. All else belongs to S.M**

**I am now un betad so live with it I write it you read it I cant spell…lol**

**There are not enough Twilight words of thanks**

**Hugs**

**Xx**

**Chapter 8**

**Keep on running, don't look back**

The rest of the week went by without me really noticing it. I was too busy writing my notes and I had made a resolution to be more me like in future!

I didn't know if Edward or any of the Cullen's were at school as I stayed away from the cafeteria and any classes that would bring me into contact with them. On Friday evening

with doing a '_me thing'_ in mind, I put on my old runners and drove to the lodge and decided to go down the cliff walkway onto the beach for a run. My breath came a little faster as I went down the steps remembering as I did the exact place I had fallen. A faint feeling of wanting to kiss the ground came over me as both feet touched the sand!

The beach was as beautiful as I remembered it from the first time I had run there.

The birds screamed noisily into the wind from their cliff side nests trying to attract a mate. They were in direct competition to the roar of the spring waves that were relentlessly rolling in onto the beach and dragging back out to sea.

I put my iPod ear buds in my ears and turned on my music and let my feet set off running to the familiar rhythm of the song that was playing.

I relaxed totally into my run, once again enjoying the feel of the gentle ache that went through my calves as the muscles reacted to the unexpected request to move!

I ran up the beach for a couple of miles then I followed a path that took me through the woods at the edge of the reservation. I found the running easy enough as the loamy surface of the woods was easy on my legs and knees.

I stopped for a breather to get my bearings and my breath and could see the main highway into town not too far in the distance.

I decided that I would follow the path back to the road and see if I could beg a lift later on from Charlie to pick up the van.

The woods in this area seemed slightly denser which was probably why I wasn't expecting to run suddenly out into a clearing!

My pace faltered as I took in the house that was imposing itself on the surrounding countryside. It was quite easily the most amazing house I had ever seen, and I knew instinctively who the house belonged to. My heart sank!

Hoping that I hadn't been spotted I picked up my pace and made a dash along the driveway that would bring me out on the road again.

I was almost under cover of the trees before Alice caught me. "Mackenzie! How nice of you to visit!" She sounded gleefully from behind me.

Feeling like a kid who had just been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. I turned to apologise and explain my unplanned and unexpected arrival on their doorstep, when to my horror, as I turned I saw that Alice was not the only Cullen stood there!

Thankfully Edward wasn't among them which disappointed me as much as left me relieved. Carlisle and Esme smiled at me and asked me in. I didn't want to appear rude but I also didn't want to run the risk of Edward returning and finding me in his home like some mad stalker. So I declined the offer but asked for a rain check and apologised for the seventh time for the inadvertent trespass.

But Alice seemed determined for a human house guest and though Jasper smiled at me I could see that my presence was not going to help his ongoing battle for vegetarianism!

Rosalie was off hand, like I was of absolutely no consequence to her at all. But the remaining Cullen's insisted and I allowed myself to be led in the house by an excited Alice.

I wondered how much the Cullen's thought I knew, or knew I knew! And I wondered what Edward had told them about me if anything. I declined their offer of a drink, thinking that they probably didn't have anything in the house that would be suitable and I wouldn't want to put them out.

I sat surrounded by them as they just watched me!

"You have a very beautiful home Mrs Cullen" I said to Esme.

Esme smiled at me and it felt like the sun had come out to warm me. "Well thank you Mackenzie, that's very sweet of you. It's a kind of hobby of mine! But please call me Esme," She said looking towards Carlisle affectionately, "We feel like we already know you so well…It's a shame Edward isn't here to see you."

I smiled nervously, "well I will see him next week at school I expect."

"I really am sorry about running on to your property." I said to the room in general again.

I heard Rosalie mutter loud enough for me to hear, "Yeah sure you are!"

Carlisle waved it off, "It really isn't a problem Mackenzie, and any friend of Edwards is a friend of ours. You are welcome here anytime." He said finally giving a hard stare in Rosalie's direction.

"Thank you, I will keep that in mind," looking at Rosalie I continued," So now I know where you are, I could just pop in and visit you all the time!" I clapped my hands in mock excitement. Rosalie looked like she was about to pounce on me and rip my head off at any second, but a steadying hand on her arm from Emmett calmed her and she walked off.

Feeling triumphant I turned with a smile on my face, to be met by the others still looking at me intently.

_Way to go and piss off the locals Kenze, and not only that but the local vampires!_

"Edwards's right, you're not like any of the young people we have met before." Carlisle stated with a question in his voice.

"Probably not," I agreed. "I guess we may have more in common than we all thought then?" I answered him.

"Maybe so Mackenzie." Carlisle said with a hint of intrigue in his voice. He was definitely looking at me like he would like me to be his next experiment or project!

After a moment I jumped up saying that I should be going or I would be too cold to continue my run. They all stood up in that beautiful fluid motion. I thanked them and said my goodbyes.

Esme shouted after me "We'll let Edward know you stopped by."

Great, I thought, that's really going to please him. I waved and then set off. I was still grumbling as I ran down the main road to town, yet another show up to add to the list of my growing Cullen faux pas. I moved off the road slightly to allow traffic to pass me more easily and it was then that I saw the car coming towards me at high speed. It stopped just past me the engine idling. I fixed my eyes on the road ahead and decided to ignore it completely!

The silver Volvo's wheels squealed as they did a 180 turn, then proceeded to keep parallel pace with me, but the driver never let the dark tinted windows down and never said a word.

_Oh Shit!_

I knew I was going to regret it but I stopped and faced the stalker Volvo.

"Is there something I can help you with?" I asked the tinted windows.

Nothing!

I started running again. And again the Volvo kept perfect pace with me.

"Look I'm sorry Edward," I said stopping and turning to face the shiny vehicle once more. "I didn't know my run would lead me to your house, I apologise. I would never have intruded on your privacy or your families for anything."

There was still no response from the car, so with a sigh I turned back to the road and continued on running, mumbling under my breath.

"This is so far beyond fucked up!"

"You have a very colourful pattern of speech." His honey voice caressed me from the open Volvo window.

I stopped in my tracks and turned to face him.

"Oh so you can talk when it's to berate my bad language then?" I hissed at him crossly.

In the moment it took me to bend to peer through his car window he was stood directly behind me, so close that I could feel him. Being away from him had not numbed me to his beauty, nor had it lessened the way my body reacted to him of its own volition. My heart was beating out its own staccato quickstep. The golden eyes that I saw in my sleep were masked and not giving anything away.

Feelings of guilt combined with hurt and just a smidgen of fright and embarrassment vied for a prominent position.

Stepping back away from Edward as casually as I could, I had the uncomfortable feeling that Edward could read every thought that was hurtling through my mind. My cheeks flushed up, hoping that Edward couldn't see what I was thinking, as at this moment it involved us being naked!

_Get a grip Mackenzie, you see naked men everyday!_

_Yeah not men like this I didn't!_

Taking another step away from him I turned to leave again.

"You left the Lodge." He said a little accusingly. "You didn't tell me you were going."

"I didn't realise I was supposed to report in!" I snapped back at him waspishly.

I hung my head, he didn't deserve my censure and it was true, I hadn't told him I was moving, I had wanted to hurt him in some small way for rejecting me. Thinking about that night made my cheeks flame red again. I dropped my eyes to the ground. In an instant Edward was stood pressing himself against me. He lifted his right hand and brushed my cheek lightly. I could feel the coolness of his body through the material of both our clothes and I was dismayed when my body had its own ideas about how to react to Edward Cullen!

I gasped in a breath and watched a smile play on the edges of Edwards's glorious mouth.

Feeling a bit annoyed that he was playing with me again, I said, "I've got to go Edward, I won't get back in time other wise."

He raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow. "Back in time for what, Mackenzie?"

"I have things I have to do, people I have to see." I said lamely. All the while Edward didn't take his eyes off of me and I knew if I didn't get away from him soon, I was going to be lost forever.

"People like Jacob Black?" He asked with that same edge to his voice. I didn't answer him, but I couldn't stop my cheeks flaming up as I remembered waking up in Jacobs's arms!

"You really should stay away from me Mackenzie. I'm dangerous for you to know."

Edward said it in a matter of fact way, not a threatening way, it made me shiver, but not for the reasons Edward was hoping!

I took a step towards him. "I'm not frightened of you Edward." Staring straight at him.

"So what did Jacob Black have to say? Nothing good I bet?" He said.

"Why should I tell you what Jake and I have been talking about? Any way, how do you know me and Jake have been talking?" I asked him accusingly. Edward managed to look a bit embarrassed, then he opened the passenger door of the Volvo and smoothly directed me to get in.

Before I had time to protest or even think of a suitable excuse, I found myself hurtling down the road in the Volvo with Edward, whose previous charm offensive had given way to a sulky silence.

I sat trying to focus on the road ahead as it hurtled towards me. I chanced a glance in Edwards's direction, but apart from the evident breath taking beauty, I could read nothing in his expression. It was while I was wondering what was going through his head that we came a stop. I had just clocked that we had stopped moving, when Edward was out of the car, opening my door for me. He didn't say a word. I looked around trying to see if I recognised anywhere. We were amidst huge trees on a small lane. One I was pretty sure I hadn't seen before.

Wordlessly Edward took me by the elbow and led me into the trees along a small pathway. Well what was really more like an animal track.

Edward dragged me through the trees for what seemed like hours, but was probably more like an hour. I had stopped trying to get him to talk to me after the first 20 minutes, and the rest of the way I spent grumbling under my breath. Eventually the dense trees started to thin out and before long he stopped abruptly and turned to face me. His eyes looked distant, like he was searching for the answers to a thousand questions.

He still didn't say anything. I refused to turn away from his stare and I set my shoulders squarely and stared right on back.

After a few minutes of staring at him I was in serious danger of asphyxiating myself, he really did take my breath away! I dragged my eyes from his and stomped very un elegantly off into the meadow. In a thick tall patch of grass I dropped myself to the floor and lay just looking up at the sky.

It was perhaps five minutes before Edwards shadow cast over me. Without waiting to be invited he sat down beside me. I sat up and hugged my legs resting my chin on my knees. I could feel Edward's eyes on me again, it made my skin tingle like there was something on it, but it wasn't an uncomfortable feeling, far from it, it was like little electric shocks being let off all over my body, sending pleasure signals to my brain! My mind drifted to how it felt to kiss him. I moaned in pleasure!

_Oh my god, did I do that out loud?_

I chanced a quick glance out of the corners of my eyes and Edward was looking directly at me with a look that was half way between pleasure and anger, it didn't help me decide if I had verbalised my day dream!

I looked away from him quickly.

"Tell me what you're thinking…Please." Edward asked of me suddenly.

We had been quiet so long that the unexpected sound of his voice made me jump.

I thought for a second, "I was wondering what you brought me up here for if you weren't going to talk to me."

Edward grimaced slightly, even that looked good on him!

"Mackenzie, I don't know what to do, for the first time in a long time, I don't have a solution to a dilemma and I am very uneasy about it." He finished finally.

"O.K." I answered wondering if he was going to elaborate. After a few seconds I stated. "It's me isn't? I'm the reason you're not happy." I looked at him and I saw the slight widening of his pupils that told me I was right.

"Edward, I'm selfish! I have continued to put you in a terrible dilemma and I feel so bad about that. If Bella were here, she would never have behaved as I have. It's all so awfully wrong and none of it's your fault, its all mine. I am sorry that I threw myself at you …again… the other night…" I could feel my face flame up as I remembered how I had behaved. I was getting into my swing and the guilt and shame was really starting to flow! "…but please don't worry I am trying to find a way to leave and then everything will be ok again."

"What do you mean?" In an instant, Edward had moved around in front of me. He looked intense and just a bit frightening and even more beautiful and unreal to me.

"I am trying to get home Edward. I think it will be better for everyone." I hoped the sadness that washed over me at just the thought of leaving him didn't show on my face. I wanted to be brave for him, he needed me to be brave for him. "I know you're worried about your family, but you won't need to be once I'm gone. I promise I won't tell a soul."

Edward looked a little wary and his next question he seemed to struggle to say, "What exactly won't you tell a soul about Mackenzie?" He had moved impossibly closer to me and his breath was sweet tasting on my lips.

"That you're a vampire Edward, I thought we went through all this the other night?"

I said getting testy as it was making me admit again his rejection of me and of my stupidity.

Edwards face looked awash with grief and something I didn't recognise. I put my hand out to touch his arm and he recoiled away from me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... I wasn't trying to seduce you again, I learnt my lesson believe me," Edwards face looked more aggrieved than before.

"I just hate to see you so upset." I finished.

"You're trying to comfort me?" He asked incredulously? "Don't you have any self preservation skills at all Mackenzie?" He demanded of me.

"I don't mean to make you sad Edward, I just seem to do the wrong thing when ever I'm around you. This just isn't me!" I was frustrated and it showed in my voice.

"Mackenzie you mean to tell me that you know what I am, what my family are, and you still went into my house, with no one knowing where you were, and you went in willingly?" He sounded like he was talking to a child.

"Well not quite willingly," I corrected, Edwards face acknowledged my reluctance, "Alice knew I was trying to avoid you and she wasn't going to take no for an answer. She may be little but she has an iron will." I stated.

"You were worried about seeing me?" Edwards face was looking more confused by the second.

"Of course I was, look don't make me spell it out." I sulked at him.

Mackenzie I have no idea what you are talking about, that's part of the problem, if only I knew what you were thinking…"

"Its not nice to gloat," I whined, "I understand that you don't like me and find me hard to be around after all the horrid things I have done, but still I've still got a tiny bit of pride left, in fact its probably all I have left."

Edward was silent again. He wasn't going to make this easy for me, I could see that now. All things considered, I supposed I deserved that.

"I didn't want to see you after I had thrown myself at you and you had pretty much ran from me screaming." I turned away from him my face flaming up again at the thought of it and the memory of the look on his face, the disgust and horror.

"I know you don't want me Edward, I can never be Bella, but as soon as I can figure out why I'm here then I should be able to get home, and you won't see me again."

I got up needing to move away from him so that I could say what I needed to say next.

"I won't bother you any more Edward." As I walked away from him it felt like my limbs had become like lead and each step made my heart feel heavier in my chest. Never had I felt as desperately sad as I did just then walking away from Edward. I had taken perhaps 5 steps and in a breath he was in front of me. His arms came up and stopped me by putting gentle pressure on my shoulders.

"Please, don't go, I can't let you go." He almost begged.

For a second I could see the battle running through him, protector or destroyer.

"I don't think I can live without you." He said softly, just loud enough for me to hear.

"What are you talking about Edward?" I demanded, confused. "It's about as much as you can bear being in the same room with me, let alone what you're trying to get me to believe."

"You think I don't want you?" He asked, forcing me to look at him. My cheeks flamed again at the memory of his rejection.

"Don't think, know." I answered stubbornly.

"Mackenzie I want you more than any human man could want a woman." His eyes were so compelling I couldn't drag mine away from his.

"But when you saved me from Isaac, that night, after in the bathroom, I seduced you, you were disgusted, I could see it in your eyes Edward, don't try to tell me I didn't see it."

"Yes you saw disgust," he snarled out.

I couldn't help choking out the smallest of gasps.

"But it was disgust in myself Mackenzie, not you, surely you could see that? I have no right to want you as I do, as any ordinary man wants a woman" It was Edwards turn to walk away from me. I reached for him, my hand closing onto his cool porcelain like hand. He moved to pull it away but for once I held firm.

"You are in danger, from me, when ever you are near me, at the moment I am in control, but I don't know for how long, before the monster over takes me." Horror was evident on his faultless face.

"You talk so casually of what my family are, but you seem to have missed the one main factor in all this, What we eat."

"You feed on animals." I stated knowingly. "Not people." Shaking my head.

"How can you know this?" suspicion tinting his words.

I sighed.

"You remember me saying that we were both not what we seemed?"

"Yes I remember, I didn't understand what you meant when you said it." He said truthfully."

I toyed for a second on coming clean and telling him the whole thing. But I quickly gave up on that and decided to go with the same story I had told Jacob.

"I can see how things are supposed to happen." I blurted out quickly, shutting my eyes tightly as I said it. I waited for the laughter or the disbelief and neither came. I opened one of my eyes a fraction and saw a pondering look on Edwards face. I risked opening both my eyes.

"So you can see into the future?" he asked.

"Well not exactly," I tried to explain the limitations.

"So you can see what should be, but there is that possibility of human choice that could change the outcome of what you see? Am I getting this right?" Edward asked politely.

"But you only see what is directly on indirectly connected to you and the people you come into contact with?"

I nodded my confirmation.

"Well that makes sense, I suppose." He admitted. "So how much about my family do you know?" he asked genuinely curious.

"Quite a lot." I admitted, embarrassed.

"Aren't you scared of me? You should be" he asked in an almost silent plea.

"How can I be scared of something I love?" I answered just as quietly.

Edwards's eyes shot to look into mine, a look of what can only be called hope resting there. "But how can you love me? I'm a monster." He stated.

I risked touching him, hoping that he wouldn't flinch from my touch, I cupped my hands around his face. "I loved you Edward Cullen, before I ever came to Forks. My heart has always been yours. I love you. It doesn't matter you wont love me back, but what I am is yours."

The look of astonishment on Edwards face brought a smile to the corners of my mouth.

"I see, however you are tragically wrong about a few things…" he said.

"I am?" I asked.

"Yes, you have no idea how deep my feelings for you are. I've waited so long for you, but I would have waited an eternity to hear you say that you love me." He answered. Amazement and joy mixed up in his words.

It was Edward this time that instigated the kiss. He brought his face towards me and closed his glorious golden eyes as his cool lips lightly touched my own expectant lips. He caught my top lip between his own lips and I felt heat move outwards from his mouth to my mouth, and those little electric shocks of pleasure from earlier erupted in a profusion of sensory ecstasy. I tried to be good and keep my hands by my sides, but my body screamed out to be nearer to Edward and my hands crept up to his neck trying to hold him in place.

Reluctantly he removed my hands and himself from my grasp.

"Mackenzie, baby steps I think, I am what I am and I can never loose control. And the part of me that's human is still a man Mackenzie and you don't know how hard it is for me to resist you. Please understand that it's your life I am risking by just being near you. I shall be damned for allowing you to put yourself in this danger, but I can not let you go again."

A smug smile swept across my face and I grabbed for Edwards hand as I pulled him down to sit with me in the meadow.

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb."

"What a stupid lamb"

"What a sick, masochistic lion!"

I couldn't stop the laugh that escaped my lips as it was a monumental quote and here I was saying it, but not just saying it but saying it to Edward!

We sat like that for a long time until the sun started to go down and the chill wind made me shiver. I looked at my unsuitable running clothes and grimaced as the first drops of rain started to fall. I jumped up still not relinquishing my hold on Edwards hand and started to run for the trees.

Edward ran fluidly beside me, "You're going to get pneumonia out in this." He stated.

"I'm ok it wont take as long if we run." I shouted back to him as the rain started to fall harder.

With that, in one quick motion Edward had swung me up behind his back, like a child would ride its parents back when its legs got tired. Not seeming to notice my extra weight on him, he set off at a terrific speed. The dark trees that I could hardly see now were a blur, but Edward ran sure footed and what had taken me an hour earlier to hike over took Edward a matter of a minute or two.

We fell into the dryness of the Volvo and Edward started the car and switched the heater on full for me.

We sat in silence again, once on the road. This time it was a silence filled with wonder. My eyes strayed constantly to Edwards's eyes, and he appeared to be looking at me more than at the road. Even this didn't bother me. Edward said he cared about me!

All too soon we were parked by my truck, a thought suddenly hit me.

"I thought you weren't supposed to go onto the reservation?" worry making my voice wobble.

Edward looked impressed. "You weren't kidding when you said you knew quite a lot!"

"Sorry!" I automatically replied. "No," he said grasping my hands, "It's good to know that I don't have to hide things from you, I'm the one who is sorry." He released my hand and gently brushed my cheek, as he had done once before. The fire immediately lit in the pit of my stomach from his touch, and he must has sensed it because he dropped his hand and moved back fractionally to allow me to gather my thoughts and coherence.

"This isn't Quileute ground. That starts on the other side of the lodge. It's a good job you were this side of the trail when you fell, not the other, I wouldn't have been able to get to you if that had been the case." He said in a matter of fact way but his face looked troubled.

_So he had been there when I fell. At least I remembered something!_

"I'll follow you back home." Edward said to my unasked question.

"Ok." I said feeling lost the moment he closed the truck door on me and got back into his own car. I drove the now familiar roads back to the cabin and kept a watchful eye on Edwards Volvo behind me. It was dark by the time we got there. I felt a warm sense of homecoming as I got out the truck; Edward was walking around the cabin, with a look that could only be described as a cross between anger and disgust.

I went ahead into the cabin and threw the switches on the lights, leaving the door open for Edward I ran through to the kitchen and put the kettle on the stove. I felt the slight move in the air as Edward joined me. I turned smiling at him. My heart did great big flip flops just at the sight of him. Shivers ran through the whole of my body at his proximity and he miss-read these saying, "You need to change out of those wet clothes, or else I will be taking you back to see my father again!"

I didn't bother to argue with him, and in truth I was freezing, so I went wordlessly into the bathroom and ran myself a shower. The water was as hot as I could stand it; my whole body was pink and was surrounded by the aroma of coconuts by the time I finished!

I found a string vest tee and pj bottoms and slipped my feet into my bunny slippers. After brushing my teeth and dragging the comb through my hair, I went back out to make a drink. Edward turned as I walked over to him. "So are you going to tell me why Jacob Black was lounging on your couch?" Edwards's eyebrows were raised and he was smiling but there was a hint of steel in his eyes that his smile didn't reach.

"He came to visit me the other night, and ended up breaking down my front door!" I could hear the annoyance in my voice.

Edward was outraged. "He did what? Did he hurt you?"

"No of course he didn't, he heard me scream," I admitted trying to hide my embarrassment, "and knocked the door through thinking I was in trouble!"

"Why did you scream?" all concern now.

"I just got a bit nervous and started seeing things in the trees that weren't there."

Edwards face relaxed a little and he stopped pacing the floor. "What was he doing lurking around anyway?" he wanted to know.

"That's exactly what I said to him," I agreed, "serves him right, it was lucky for him it was only the 2 litre pan that I hit him with!"

"Wait a second, you hit Jacob Black with a sauce pan?" Edward asked smiling widely.

"Well I didn't know who he was, the lights were out and well I hadn't seen you, so I felt pretty confident it wasn't you either."

Edwards smile disappeared, "I'm sorry I left you alone. I won't let it happen again."

Taking advantage, I moved myself and wrapped my arms around Edward's neck.

"I wasn't intending on letting you." I said as I quickly brushed my lips over his and then immediately withdrew.

I hadn't been sure if Edward reacted to my blood the way he had with Bella's until today and I really didn't want to cause him any more pain than I had done already.

I sat down on the sofa and held my hand out for Edward to join me. He sat and couldn't hide the look of distaste on his face.

"What's wrong Edward?" I asked concerned.

"You really shouldn't let the mutt on the couch you know!" he said as he made a big thing of sniffing the air.

"Be nice?" I asked him.

"How could I deny you anything Kenzie? I will be good I promise. Plus I am happy that you have someone else looking out for you as well as me, it makes me feel like you may get through the day with out some major disaster happening to you."

I let my eyes close as I snuggled into Edwards's side. It was an odd feeling, there was no body heat coming from him, but my body tingled with its own heating system just being beside him.

I recollect thinking before I slipped into sleep that though I was sorry for Bella, all was fair in love and war!

**A/N would love to know if this is a worthy tale? And please don't hate Mackenzie too much I mean if it was there offered who wouldn't ?**

**Lol**

**Really need some reviews to keep me going on writing this. So if you are liking it, not liking it or just what you are thinking the way its going to go…review it please, and if you like it spread the word.**

**Hugs Xx**


	9. Chapter 9

**I do not own any of this twilight world only the stuff that's from me and makes no sense. All else belongs to S.M**

**I am now un betad so live with it I write it you read it I cant spell…lol**

**There are not enough Twilight words of thanks**

**Hugs**

**Xx**

**Chapter ****9**

**A Bella Swan Obsession**

I woke with the feeling that I had just had the best nights sleep in ages. I was so comfy and warm that I didn't want to break the spell by opening my eyes. I sighed and opened my eyelids to an angel beside me.

"Good morning sleepy head!" Edward joked.

"Hello you!" I smiled and stretched like a contented kitten.

I clocked that I was in my bed and not on the sofa where I had fallen asleep. Edward saw the look, "I figured you would be more comfortable lying down."

"And you managed to move me without disturbing me?" I was impressed!

He waved his arms and hands around in a mystical kind of way.

"Vampire!" He said with that devastating smile on his face.

He leant forward to kiss me, and I jumped to the other side of the bed.

"Nooooo!" I yelped at him.

Edward looked confused and a bit wounded, wrongly interpreting my move away from him as a move away from his statement of '_vampire_'.

"Morning breath!" I reluctantly admitted.

Edward laughed softly; the sound was like an opus, so many tones to it that I got lost in the sheer beauty of it.

"Believe me there's no hint of morning breath, you always smell good to me…the problem is you smell too good!" a shadow of doubt flashed across his face which made my heart ache for him.

After I had showered and got myself presentable and thoroughly scrubbed my teeth! I went out to the kitchen and was met by Edward brandishing a mug of something at me.

"I'm not sure its going to be drinkable!" he warned as I put the hot liquid to my lips.

"As I don't drink it myself its hard to judge if what I have put in it is ok!" I took a sip from the cup and was met by the quite passable taste of a good old British cuppa!

"It's lovely thank you." I answered gratefully.

I thought you would prefer tea to coffee as that seems to be your drink of choice."

"Mm! reminds me of home"

"You don't talk about your home much." Edward said, "Hardly at all really."

"Not much to tell." I evaded him.

"Nice try Mackenzie May Richardson, I can wait, till you feel you can tell me."

I walked to the window to look out on the meadow; it was a lifetime away from the view from my flat back in England.

He was instantly beside me. "What's wrong Mackenzie? Have I said something to upset you?"

"No, it's nothing, im just thinking …that I don't deserve to have you in my life, you should be here with someone else." Under my breath I mumbled _Bella._

I thought I had said it so quietly, but I had forgotten the vampire sense of hearing!

"What is it with you and this obsession you have with Isabella Swan?" Edward asked. My heart started to race at the sound of Bella's name from his lips. Like the act of him saying it would make her appear from out of the ether and send me tumbling back to a world and a life that didn't have Edward in it.

"I'm not obsessed, I just feel like I am standing in her shoes somehow." It hurt to lie to Edward but I knew that I couldn't tell him the truth, I couldn't tell him because I wasn't sure what the truth was anymore.

Still feeling 100% sure that I needed to get back home; I hadn't given up on my plan to make that happen. Even if it ripped my heart from my chest to even contemplate it.

We spent the remainder of the weekend together; it was so easy being with him. Charlie must have realised that I had a visitor as we didn't see him either.

Most of the time we just sat looking at each other, or just chatting about non-sensical things.

'_Ok I admit it very mushy__ and Jane Austen, but I bet you would do the exact same thing if it were you!'_

The next week at school was very different from the last. As I went out to get in the truck on Monday morning; Edward who had only left me a matter of an hour earlier was waiting for me in his car to take me to school.

We pulled up into the parking lot and you could hear the collective gasp of the rest of the people around. Edward grabbed my hand and with a huge smile on his face marched me past all of them, including his brothers and sisters, who were stood by Emmett's 4x4. The boys looked on without much emotion, Alice of course had a huge grin on her face, Rosalie looked like she was planning the different ways to mutilate and dismember me!

I smiled at them all as we walked past and when we were clear of them, Edward squeezed my hand, I looked at him and he in turn looked surprised.

"I'm sorry about that, Rosalie will come round." He said it like he was hoping it would be the case rather than with any great conviction!

"It's ok, I can deal with it; it doesn't bother me." I assured him as I stroked my thumb on his hand.

Edwards's eyebrows pulled down slightly, "You're really not scared are you"

"No, I'm not scared of them, or you…before you add that! I just know people, and no matter what Rosalie's feelings are about me, she loves you and wont do anything to hurt you…Plus I don't see that happening anyway, unless my spidey senses are way off!"

"Argh, I see, I forgot about your 'spidey senses'!" Edward stopped walking and faced me. "And what are they telling you now Ms Richardson?" He asked leaning forwards so that his mouth was nearly touching mine.

"They are telling me that we had better get a move on or else I am in serious danger of trying to get down and dirty with you again and not in private like before but in the middle of the parking lot! You definitely don't want that to happen!"

"Hmm, perhaps we had better get to class then." He had a smile on his face as he started walking again.

"You're wrong though," he was smiling widely now.

"I am?"

"Yes you are, because I definitely WOULD like that to happen, just not in full view of the school faculty!"

It was my turn to stop and face him; both my legs were like jelly, almost unable to work out how to make me remain upright.

"…I _would_ like it to happen, but it's just not possible Mackenzie I'm sorry. You're too breakable. No matter how much I want you." He clarified wistfully.

I couldn't stop my bottom lip from pouting.

'_Oh my God, how old was I? Pouting, I mean really!'_

I slapped myself mentally and put the lip away! We walked to class though I couldn't tell you what class I went to!

I was wondering about asking Charlie if he would be speaking to Bella again soon and if I would get away with asking to speak to her. I made a mental note to ask Charlie when he got home from work.

I reluctantly said a temporary goodbye to Edward for my Gym class and went and changed with the other girls. I gravitated towards Angela; she smiled a warm welcoming smile as I dropped my stuff down on the bench next to her.

"Angela, what's Bella like?" I wanted to get an insight on the girl; everyone else seemed to not give any details of her.

"She's nice, I like her a lot." Angela was always so loyal, it was just one of her many great qualities.

"But what's she like? Is she loud, quiet?" I wanted to know something personal about her, not just blanket statements.

"Well, she's just like everyone else really, quite quiet and keeps her self to herself. She couldn't wait to get out of Forks though, she said she had itchy feet and needed to see the world. I guess that's why she signed up for the exchange program."

I nodded understanding what would drive someone to want to travel.

"Did she and Edward spend much time together?" I asked. Trying to hide my intense interest and failing!

"Spend time together?" Angela asked me confused.

"Yeah, like did they hang out together a lot?"

"Mackenzie, they never really spoke to each other, well no more than any of us spoke to any of the Cullen's, until you arrived that is!"

By the way that Angela was looking at me I gathered that she thought I had lost my mind or something. I must have looked unconvinced.

"Kenzie, no one would have dared talk to and or associate with any of the Cullen's before you came to school. You kind of set the standard!" She said as a way of explanation.

"Mm, maybe." I murmured.

Angela looked worried in case she had something wrong, but I quickly assured her that it was fine, I just didn't understand why no one had actually bothered to get to know the Cullen's before? Angela just shrugged her shoulders. "No one was brave enough. They seemed to want to stay apart from everyone" She said simply, "That was until you exploded into Edwards's life. The rest of us perhaps were too worried I guess. Not something you're afflicted with though I would imagine." Angela laughed like she had said something funny.

"What? You don't think I get scared?" I asked as we walked into the gym together.

Angela seemed doubtful. "Well I don't know Mackenzie, you don't seem like you would be scared of anything or anyone. You seem like a lioness, ready to stand up to any injustice and do what's right."

I smiled a bit wistfully at her as we joined the warm up.

If only that were the case, I thought to myself.

The rest of my lessons went off without me being able to further my research on Bella Swan!

I didn't ask Edward about her again, as he already thought I had an unhealthy obsession with the girl.

As Edward dropped me back home after school he told me that he would be going hunting with his family. I couldn't stop the flash of worry cross my face, and Edward had seen it all too easily.

"Actually," he said. "Perhaps I won't go, I can't be bothered." He lied!

He didn't fool me and I immediately felt selfish.

"Please go Edward; you haven't left my side for a week and you must be hungry, I can see by your eyes that you are." He was about to disagree and argue with me.

"Plus I owe Charlie a meal and it will give me some time to do some human stuff!"

At that Edward agreed. "If you're sure?"

"I'm sure, but please all of you be careful. I can't bare the thought of any of you getting hurt."

Edward hugged me fiercely to him and I hugged him as fiercely back. His lips found mine and they were not as gentle or as restrained as they usually were. A great fire lit in my stomach as I pulled myself closer to him. I felt and tasted the hot sweet nectar of Edward's venom flush his mouth and then flood my tongue. I wondered briefly why venom seemed harmless if ingested, but the thought was soon washed away as the full force of my need for Edward hit me, making my knees buckle which in turn made me cling all the more to him. Edward gave a groan and it was the most erotic sound I had ever heard. I gasped into his open mouth as his lips finally withdrew from mine ever so slightly.

He disengaged my arms and I moved away fractionally from him. I looked up to his face expecting to see the familiar amusement coupled with a martyred expression.

What was in Edwards eyes was neither of these. I saw his dark eyes deep with need and hooded with passion. It was how I knew my own eyes would look to him. Both our chests were raking in deep lungfuls of air, mine out of necessity, and his out of habit. We stood as we were for what seemed like ages until both our breathing had returned to some form of normality.

Edward lifted my hand to his lips and kissed my fingers lightly. "See you in the morning, call me if you need anything, or call Alice as she is nearer." He said huskily.

"Be careful." I said to his disappearing back as he ran to his car and was gone with a wave of his beautiful hand.

I dumped my stuff and set about cooking something for tea. I was going to make something simple but tasty. So when I saw Charlie's cruiser pull into the lane, I gathered up everything I needed and went on over.

"Hey Charlie." I called to him as he was opening his door.

"Hi Mackenzie, how are you? Not seen you for a bit!" I felt the flush hit my cheeks before I could answer.

"Yep, I've been busy." I said lamely.

"Yes I saw how busy you were, parked outside earlier!" he added in a friendly way.

Feeling like it was my own father that had just busted me; I quickly tried to distract Charlie with the mention of food!

"Have you eaten yet Charlie? Cos if not I made something, if you want it? Or you can keep it and have it warmed up tomorrow if you're busy?"

"Nope Kenze, my diary is clear for tonight! So come on in."

I went into Charlie's kitchen and it was pleasantly familiar to me and we fell easily into our previous routine.

I passed Charlie a beer and I noticed how tired he looked.

"Busy day at the office?" I asked.

"You could say that, there have been another 3 unexplained deaths just outside of Seattle and who ever is doing it seems to be heading in this direction."

Charlie pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do me a favour Kenze; don't go to Seattle at the moment, not till we've caught whose doing this."

"OK Charlie." I agreed, my mind not really on what he was saying.

I hurried back out to the kitchen, with a cold feeling of dread numbing me to everything else.

I dished up dinner and was once again glad that Charlie liked to watch the TV whilst he ate, and didn't require me to make small talk. I managed to clear up in record time and excused myself to make a call.

Outside of Charlie's house I went through my phonebook till I found the number I was looking for.

It rang once before Alice's sing song voice answered.

"Hello Mackenzie, I saw it was you!"

_Damn she was good!_

"Alice, have you heard the news?" I demanded without any preamble.

Not waiting for her to answer. "Did they go anywhere near Seattle?" My voice raising a couple of octaves.

Alice's calm reply didn't reassure me, it only served to aggravate me. "Calm down Mackenzie, the boys are fine. There's nothing out there that any of them need to fear, even in Seattle!" She didn't mean to put any emphasis on the _even in Seattle_ part, but she did.

"You know who or what it is that's killing all those people don't you?" I demanded, already knowing the answer.

There was the slightest of pauses. "I'm sorry Mackenzie; I've got to go… I'll call you if there are any problems I promise." And she abruptly hung up.

The phone call with Alice had done nothing to hush the creeping feeling of worry that was progressively making its self known. I was eventually able to leave Charlie's house. All thoughts of talking to Bella had vanished as soon as I had heard about the encroaching danger. I hugged him briefly and adjusted my bag as I swiftly ran along the path that would take me to the cabin.

I dumped my bag and grabbed the truck keys and I was on the lane to the main road before my phone rang. I fumbled answering it. "Hello?" I screeched down the line.

"Hi Mackenzie, its Mike."

"Who?" I asked none the wiser.

"Mike, Mike Newton. From school!"

"O right sorry Mike, you've caught me at a bit of an awkward time." I explained. "Can we do this another time?" I asked, desperate to put the phone down and concentrate on driving as fast as I could to Edwards house and to Alice.

"Well, I guess so." He sounded gloomy.

"Great, thanks Mike. Speak to you soon." I closed my phone before he had a chance to say anything else and I slammed my foot on the trucks gas pedal and spun the tyres of the ancient vehicle as I hit the tarmac.

I reached Edwards house in record time. Alice was waiting for me on the drive as I sped in.

"Mackenzie please calm down. Edward and the boys are fine, I would have seen if they weren't. In fact they are having a very good time, at least Emmett and Jasper are, Edward is trying to hurry to get back to you."

I let Alice lead me indoors and we were met in the hall by Esme and Carlisle.

Esme immediately wrapped her cool arms around me and cooed at me in a motherly fashion.

"Why don't you stay here and wait for Edward." Carlisle suggested. I gratefully accepted and let Esme lead me into the living area and sit me down on the sofa with her arms still in place.

I struggled to stay awake for as long as I could, but the lyrical tone of the remaining gathered Cullens talking quietly, soon soothed me enough that my eyelids became heavy over my eyes. Esme moved slightly and I found myself comfortably laid down with my head resting on her legs. Someone covered me with a blanket that was so soft and smelt of vanilla and I gave in to the urge to sleep for just a few minutes.

I opened my eyes soon after and realised that someone must have moved me. We were back in the meadow behind the cabin. Relief swam over me as I turned towards the faintest of sounds and saw Edward. My breath stuck in my throat as I took in just how perfect he was. The rest of his family walked out of the trees and they all were so glorious, so not of this world. My heart nearly burst with the sight of their beauty. I smiled and waved to them but they hadn't seen me. I called out to Edward and he looked straight through me. Something wasn't right, had he discovered what I knew already? Did he realise that there was no possible way that we could be together and that he was far too good for me and that I really didn't deserve him as I had lied to him and not told the truth about me. I tried calling again, desperation in my voice creeping in, panic at the thought that I had lost him. All the while the voice in my head was screaming at me _'Not yours to loose'_

I searched around in panic, hoping to get some idea of how to stop him from walking past me without a second glance, when my eyes caught site of something out in the tree line. It made me uneasy; instead of following Edward I took a step toward the dark shape off in the shadows. Instinct was trying to force my legs to run away as far and as fast as I could in the other direction, but I knew somehow that whatever was in those woods was after Edward and his family, and that it wanted desperately to hurt them. My only thought was in buying Edward some time. Perhaps I could redeem myself that way?

I turned briefly to see where Edward was and then quickly back to where the shadow had been.

I saw them too late. I screamed as loud as I could to warn Edward but it wasn't enough. The red eyed vampire had leapt across him and slashed at his throat before he had a chance to register my scream. My feet were pinned to the spot as I witnessed the carnage.

The shock in Edwards dimming eyes as he saw his mother and father caught by 5 more red eyed vampires. They didn't stand a chance, there were too many of them. I sank to my knees great sobs of despair breaking free from my throat as the attacking vampires swarmed all over them.

_NO, take me, don't you leave me here alone, don't leave me, I won't be alone, NO!_

"Mackenzie, Ssh, sweetheart, its ok im here, im home. Please don't cry."

My eyes flew open, my cheeks damp from the tears. I saw Edward and I threw my arms around him. Great tearing sobs escaping me. Edward held me tightly all the time murmuring in that soft voice. I couldn't hear individual words, but just hearing him made me feel better.

When I had calmed down enough to talk; Edward asked. "You ok now?"

I nodded not trusting my voice just yet.

"Bad dream?" Edward surmised.

I nodded again, pulling myself in closer to him. I took a moment to look around the room and noticed that we were alone. The others must have discreetly removed themselves.

"You had us pretty worried there." Edward said.

"I'm sorry Edward I've done it again haven't I."

"Done what Mackenzie? Worried about me? I can't even tell you how wonderful it is to have you care enough about me to be worried about me, though we are going to have to seriously talk about a few things for the future."

I didn't really understand what he was talking about, so just nodded and pulled myself even closer to him.

"Are you going to tell me what you dreamt about?" he asked delicately.

"I can't remember." I lied. Edward looked sceptical but didn't force the issue.

"Alice was so worried when you started screaming in your sleep that she phoned me and explained what had happened, so I got back here as quick as I could." His beautiful face looked tense.

"I'm sorry I left you. I wish that you had said how much you didn't want me to go."

"Its fine Edward, I'm fine, it was just a silly dream and just a silly me, I've made a huge fuss about nothing, I'm such a drama queen." I added crossly.

Edward stared straight into my eyes for a few seconds. I couldn't fathom what was in those golden depths.

"Why were you calling out Isabella Swans name again?" he asked after a second.

I sucked in a slight breath, and tried to recall if Bella had been in my dream. "I was?" I asked. "I have no idea!" I answered truthfully.

**A/N would love to know if this is a worthy tale? **

**Reviews please if your able.**

**Hugs Xx**


	10. Chapter 10

**I do not own any of this twilight world only the stuff that's from me and makes no sense. ****All else belongs to S.M**

**I am now un betad so live with it I write it you read it I can't spell…lol**

**There are not enough Twilight words of thanks**

**Hugs**

**Xx**

**Chapter 1****0**

**Once bitten**

So here I am, wandering through these days not sure if im dead, alive or delusional. The only constant, the only thing that I could cling to was Edward.

He seemed to be even more reluctant to leave me for any amount of time, since my minor schiz out!

It was on a rare occasion that I was going to have a day on my own as I had insisted that Edward hunt with the rest of his family. I had a sneaky suspicion that I wasn't being totally left to my own devices and that someone somewhere had been put to watching over me. Though I hadn't forgotten my nightmare, it had lost some of its clarity and I had pushed it to the back of my head; hence I didn't really think twice about throwing on some runners and jumping in the truck and going off to the beach after I had said my breathless goodbyes to Edward.

I parked up the truck and went with an easy jog down onto the beach. The sand felt familiar as I easily ran across its hard packed surface. The waves and gulls were joining in Mother Nature's symphony and I took in big lung full's of the salty air, allowing it, with each exhale, to clear my head. It felt so good to be running again and feel the impacting rhythm of my feet.

I ran along the beach beside the cliffs and eventually followed an uphill path through the woods. I saw a young family walking their yapping dog and I shouted a breathy "Good Morning." And "Thanks." to them as they grabbed the dog and stepped aside to let me pass.

The sounds of the sea and the dog abated and soon it was only the mulchy thud of my running feet that was audible. I continued on, enjoying the speckled sun just able to filter down through the thick fir trees. It was whilst I was admiring the dappled tree line that my eye was drawn to my right. I looked in to the trees to see what had made me turn my head but didn't stop running. I expected to see one of the many woodland creatures that dwelt there but I didn't see anything. Wandering what time it was, I thought that I should start thinking about going back to the car soon. I decided to retrace my steps as I wasn't sure where this path ran to or through and so started back the way I had come. As I ran I noticed that the sun was making the shadows dance in the trees just off of the pathway. My eyes kept on being drawn to what they thought were movements, but was really the sun shining through the breeze blown leaves. For about the fifth time I caught sight of a movement just off to my left. This time however it was enough to halt me from my run. I stood and gazed to where I had seen the flash. My eyes and ears strained to catch anything that may have moved. The creeping sensation of uneasiness made the trickle of sweat that was rolling between my shoulder blades turn to ice. I held my breath to see if that would help me hear anything…it didn't!

Berating myself I started running again, but this time I picked up the pace. My eyes were flashing from side to side but I kept my focus forwards. I knew that it couldn't be much further till I hit the downwards path to the beach. Knowing that I was getting nearer to civilisation made me crank up another gear in my pace. My breath was coming in regular bursts but my lungs were unaccustomed to being pushed like this and for such a time

.

Eventually up ahead I saw the young family sat down relaxing. I let out a huge relieved breath; I sprinted towards the group, so relieved to see them that I was nearly upon them before my oxygen starved brain told me that there was something wrong. My eyes registered the young family sat off of the pathway but my ears still registered the silence. The yappy dog wasn't yapping anymore! I skidded to a halt, spinning around all ways to see if there was anyone else near. I couldn't see or hear anyone or thing. I crept towards the family, my eyes wouldn't move off of their still forms. This whole scenario seemed oddly familiar and images of my desperately trying to pump a mans dying heart into action whilst his life blood flowed away, kept flashing into my head.

As I got to the group my eyes swept over the carnage. My hands immediately went to work, I checked for any signs of life from the 3 people who lay there bloodied and mutilated. The man and woman had the cold look of death and there was no helping them. The young girl, who looked to be in her early teens, had a faint fluttering pulse. She was less mutilated than her parents had been. I found the wounds on her neck, arms and wrists and ripped at her clothes to make a dressing to try to stem the remaining blood flow. Checking her pulse again I felt it stutter and halt. My hands went to do chest compressions as I tried to assess the condition of the rest of her. After what seemed like hours of me pumping her heart for her, her body jolted and her heart reluctantly thudded of its own accord once more. I tentatively looked around, worried that we may not have been on our own. I was in no doubt as to what had murdered the couple and had left this young girl to die. My concern was that they might come back to finish the job. I reached into my pocket and grabbed my phone, scrolling hastily for the number I was looking for. Just then from behind me I heard the faintest rustle of trees, I turned to look in the direction the noise had come from and peered into the forest. I saw the three vampires as I turned back to the young girl. They were on the path and just watching me with such amusement. Fear bubbled into my chest as I took in the familiar forms of Laurent, James and Victoria!

"Oh look, Desert!" Victoria quipped as she wiped the blood from her mouth with her arm and wrist.

Laurent laughed at her joke, James just stared at me, his head rising up slightly to catch my scent each time the breeze disturbed the trees.

I rose slowly from my squatting position, my eyes never leaving the three vampires in front of me. I knew that I couldn't possibly outrun them or fight them off, in fact there wasn't really anything I could do now apart from die. However, as soon as I thought that, my heart thumped harder in my chest and I could feel the lactose and adrenalin building in my muscles ready to fight or flee. I stepped around towards the beach pathway, not taking my eyes off of the three predators. Their eyes, glowing ruby red from the blood they'd consumed, followed me. I moved a step, they moved a step. I thought briefly about why they didn't attack me straight away and the vision that came into my head was Edward kissing me before he left for his hunting trip. Perhaps that was why James kept sniffing at the air, perhaps he could smell Edward on me and he wasn't sure what to do about it. With each small step I increased the distance between myself and the three vampires, but I knew it would only be a matter of a few seconds before they caught me.

Just then the young girl gave out an excruciating scream, the vampires turned to her and watched with interest as her body arched upwards like her back was about to break.

I took my chance! I turned and ran as fast as I could through the trees. The wispy lower branches whipping across my face left it bloodied and stinging. I launched myself out into space over the cliff edge and half fell, half rolled down the craggy rock face. As I hit the bottom I felt and heard my arm break or dislocate, not waiting for the pain to register, I was on my feet and running across the sand, heading towards the truck and what I would hope would be safety. I risked a slight look behind me and couldn't see anything, so I slowed some more and turned more fully. There was no sign of pursuit! I couldn't understand it, there was no way that I could have out run the vampires and James was an exceptionally gifted tracker as well, so it was highly unlikely that he had lost me scent, even if I hadn't been making enough noise for anyone in the near vicinity to hear!

Now too curious I stopped and turned and looked towards the pathway and the cliff edge I had just come down. The clouds of dust were still visible from my decent. I could hear the sounds of trees and branches snapping up along the ridge, and I felt pretty sure that that was my three pursuers. Not wanting to meet them again I turned to run back to the truck.

I sprinted up the last couple of steps and cast a last look behind me. Trying to calm myself I walked as normally as I could towards the truck. I didn't relax fully until I was in the trucks cabin with the doors locked firmly behind me. Once I had strapped my arm up I started the old engine and was on my way, I started to giggle and then great huge gaffs of inappropriate laughter escaped me. I knew it was the shock and the relief of my escape but I couldn't stop myself. Big tears rolled down my cheeks as I laughed hysterically. I tried to compose my self as I drove the winding road towards the town. The truck was heavy and unresponsive to all but the most heaving turns and even those it did grudgingly! This was made even more difficult as I was trying to drive using only my good arm. So it was with a huge amount of screeching that the old truck responded to my slamming of the brakes as I turned the next corner. Stood in the middle of the road waiting for me was James. The truck finally stopped and I was trying to get my already exhausted brain to function properly and get me out of another deadly mess.

James' ruby eyes stared into mine; I noticed the slight up turn to his lips belying his amusement.

_OK I admit it im a hot head, and well this pissed me off and I felt like someone had to fight for the little family t__hat had lost their lives today and as I didn't see anyone else around queuing up to do it, it may as well be me!_

I revved the engine of the truck, it rumbled and roared and shook. The smile on James' face became much more apparent, as I screamed towards him, the wheels spinning and leaving huge clouds of burnt rubber smoke behind as we went. James started to run towards me head on, I was hoping that I could at least knock out a tooth or two!

The impact of the heavy truck hitting the vampire's body sent a shock wave through the vehicle and me. It lifted us up over the vampire who disappeared from my view as glass was tossed around the spinning truck cab. The truck did a full revolution and it continued to turn. It didn't make it back round to its tires before the ground rushed to meet us! With a huge banging impact the truck landed on its roof and continued to skid along the road, ripping great gauges in the road as it went, sending sparks flying around me.

Black.

My eyes came open as my nose twitched with the smell of gasoline. It took me a micro second to remember what had happened and immediately my mind cleared. I was half hanging, half lying upside down in the trucks cabin, held by my seat belt. My face felt warm and sticky from the glass and tree scratches. As I tested methodically through the rest of my body, I was trying to peer out the crushed cab to see what had happened to James. I managed to slip myself out of the seat belt and dropped to the floor, which was really the roof of the truck. I let out an involuntary yelp as it jarred my arm, but I bit my lip and tried to be as quiet as possible. Pulling myself out of the broken window, I was eventually able to stand up. Gingerly I got to my feet and saw properly where James was. He was where I had hit him but he was on the floor, some fifty feet away! He wasn't moving. I reached for my phone… "Shit!"

I had had my phone out on the cliff ridge before I had seen the three vampires, I couldn't remember putting it away as I had hastily run away, and I couldn't find it now. I guessed it was somewhere in the woods on the cliff walkway! I took another look towards James to satisfy myself that he was still there and then I started to walk in the direction of town again. I knew I would get to some houses soon.

Every few minutes or so, I would look behind me to see James, not moving. The final time I looked though, he was stood, with not a scratch on him wearing that same amused expression. Why hadn't he just come and got me straight away? I knew as soon as I thought it why… He was a hunter, he liked the chase, and if it was over too quickly he didn't get the enjoyment or satisfaction out of it.

I took a last look into the eyes that struck terror in my very soul, and I took a big breath and then I calmly turned my back and took a step away from him. Before my foot had touched down a gust of air passed me and James was stood directly in front of me. That same smug smile, making his perfect face look more sadistic, if that were possible. Every nerve ending in my body was screaming at me to run away from James. He reached out a marble hand and cupped my face, stroking my bloodied cheek with his thumb. To an unaware onlooker, the scene would have looked tender, even sensual. Bile started to rise in my stomach as I smelt blood and entrails on his skin. Still he did not move. He just stood looking at me. James moved closer to me, so that his whole body was pressed against mine. He removed the hair that was sticking to my sweat and blood coated neck. I closed my eyes and not for the first time, prepared for the end to come. I was waiting for the pain, when it came, it felt like I had been hit with a freight train. My eyes flew open as I hit the floor and skidded on my already shredded arms. I saw James rolling over with something huge and furry! James and the huge wolf were tumbling over each other. The russet colour identified the wolf as Jake, I looked up and saw another huge wolf, which I assumed would be Paul, judging by the size and colouring. James had been taken off guard as he wasn't aware of the wolves or of their purpose! I scrambled over towards Paul, not taking my eyes off of the fighting pair. The sound was horrific, there was the sound of tearing metal each time Jakes teeth caught James. Low guttural growling was coming from both of them. James made a move to grab Jacobs's neck, but Jacob saw it coming, he flung his body out at an obtuse angle, but he was a fraction slower than the vampire. I heard Jakes leg break with a loud snap that reminded me of trees being felled rather than a human femur fracturing. James was good. Panic and fear for my friend made me forget my own fears, I ran towards the tussling pair picking up the biggest branch I could on the way. My way was halted by Paul placing himself in front of me and using himself as a doggy shield!

"He's getting hurt!" I screamed at wolf Paul, trying to push my way past. Paul's ears pricked up and his head turned slightly in the direction of the woods, we were joined then by 3 other wolves. One huge black wolf, almost as big as Jacob joined in the melee of the growling fight between James and Jacob.

James was a brilliant tracker, and to be a brilliant tracker you needed to be smart. He knew when he should cut and run….and that's what he did…he ran as fast as his vampire legs would take him, with three of the four wolves snapping and harrying him and snapping at his heels.

Jake limped off into the woods and I made to follow him when he reappeared seconds later in his usual modest attire of cut off jeans and nothing else.

I ran over to him, hugging him as I screamed at him.

"Are you ok?" Oh my God, let me take a look at your leg." Shoving him to the floor with more force than I had expected, he winced. "Ouch! Easy there Kenze I heal quick but it still hurts like a bitch!"

"Sorry!" I apologised. "You need to get to a hospital." I said.

"Its ok im going to be healed in about another ten minutes, it was a straight break."

He lay back on the woodland floor and put his big arms behind his head and closed his eyes.

I sat down beside him in silence, waiting for the questions to come, but I was only met by silence. Eventually I turned to him only to hear the faintest snore escape from his smiling mouth!

"MEN!" I accused the quiet forest.

We sat like that for about 40 minutes, me watching the woods, Jake snoring contentedly, until Sam and the others returned. Paul gave Jacob a kick to wake him. Sam came over to ask if I was ok.

"What happened?" I asked, "Are you all in one piece?"

"We're all ok Mackenzie. I think we have some stuff to talk about!"

My face must have screwed up because Jake barked a laugh out.

"Come on," he said "I'll give you a ride home!"

I looked around trying to see where the road was and when I looked back Jake was no where to be seen. In his place stood the huge russet wolf!

"You've got to be kidding me?" I asked to the others.

They laughed as they phased, their laughter turning into Hyena yaps. Gritting my teeth I roughly grabbed a handful of Jacobs's fur, and half vaulted, half pulled myself up on his back.

He set off as soon as I was seated properly. This was going to take some explaining to Edward if he ever found out.

Jacobs's easy running strides made the ride actually quite comfortable and it wasn't long before I could see Sam's house in the distance.

**A/N would love to know if this is a worthy tale? And please don't hate Mackenzie too much I mean if it was there offered who wouldn't ?**

**Lol**

**Reviews please if you're able.**

**Hugs Xx**


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